The 20/20 Interview with Dave Tate and Jim Wendler

(Unedited Transcript)

ABC: I would like to thank you both for doing this interview.

Dave Tate (DT): We are more than happy to be here.

Jim Wendler (JW): Before we get started, I’ve got to ask you; what’s the deal with the sexual tension between Barbara Walters and John Stossel? Wow. They’re not fooling anyone.

ABC: I’m not sure of any of that.

JW: Of course you’re not. You want to keep your job.

DT: This is getting funny.

ABC: I assure you, Mr. Tate, that this is not funny.

DT: You should be sitting where I’m at.

JW: Before we get started, do I have your assurance that you will edit and cut this interview so that we look like morons?

ABC: You have my word.

JW: Well, let’s get started.

ABC: As you two are well aware of, the BALCO labs scandal and the Victor Conte 20/20 interview has caused quite a stir in the sporting community.

JW: I can see why.

DT: No kidding. They only showed a week’s worth of the drug schedules for the athletes.

JW: Talk about misinformation and irresponsibility. ABC should be ashamed of itself.

DT: What a tease.

JW: It’s like going to a strip club in the States.

DT: Or going to McDonald’s and not getting to eat a Mac.

JW: How the hell was that informative? 1 week of a drug schedule?

DT: I even used my DVR and tried to pause it long enough to see the calendar.

ABC: So neither of you was shocked about these allegations?

DT: You forgot that we aren’t idiots.

JW: Every couple of years the media will jump on the anti-steroid band wagon, run a couple of stories, and then let it die out.

DT: Like clockwork.

JW: You know what the most disturbing thing was with this interview?

ABC: The cockiness of Victor Conte?

JW: No. How perfect his moustache was. That thing was impeccable.

DT: As a man who also has a ‘stache, I have to offer major kudos to Vic. His grooming of the flavor-savor is outstanding. A true inspiration.

ABC: Let’s stick with the issues that are important.

JW: Yeah, don’t be a McCain.

ABC: So nothing was a shock to you.

DT: Well, there was one thing. It wasn’t shocking to us, but it’s shocking that no one has figured it out. Especially those in the strength and conditioning profession.

ABC: And what was it?

JW: Let me ask you a question. What happened to Marion Jones, Tim Montgomery, Kelli White, Jason Giambi, and Barry Bonds in regards to their strength and physique?

ABC: They obviously got bigger and stronger.

DT: And what happened to their performance in their respective sports?

ABC: They became better.

JW: So would you say that as they became bigger and stronger they became better at their sports?

ABC: I just said that.

JW: I just wanted to make sure that you got it. That point seems to have escaped strength coaches for years.

ABC: You’re kidding me.

DT: He speaks truthfully.

ABC: This can’t be for real. These aren’t coaches that are in well-respected positions, right?

DT: You’d be surprised.

ABC: Now that could be a story.

JW: We are trying to get the word out.

ABC: I’d like to thank you both for taking the time to do this interview.

JW: So can I meet Jennifer Gardner? I heard a rumor that she’s totally into me. Point me in the direction of the “Alias” set. I can smell lust a mile away.

ABC: I don’t know her.

JW: You work for ABC and you have never tried to track down Jennifer Gardner?

DT: Sounds like someone likes ice skating, and I don’t mean while playing hockey.

ABC: I don’t like the accusations and I assure you that I am a married man.

JW: Probably as married as Marion Jones is drug-free.