Top 10 Holiday Gifts for a Meathead
By
Jim Wendler and Rachel Cassano
If you have a meathead on your Christmas list:
10.) Fat Gripz
If the meathead on your list always glances in the mirror just to admire his
arms, then my guess is they aren’t as big as he imagines…and he needs Fat
Gripz. These unique training devices wrap around standard barbells, dumbbells
and cable attachments to make them insanely big, like the pump he will get after
using them.
9.) Boards
A meathead may complain that his bench is “nowhere near where it used to be.”
Either he is lying, and he could never bench the 1,000 pounds he claims, or he
needs to work on some sticking points. This is an easy fix. Just get him some
boards to develop his lockout strength and he’ll be back to his max in no time!
8.) Bands
Meatheads think they are tough…until they add a few bands. The resistance
will challenge them and allow them to brag to their training buddies about the
new PRs they achieved because of band work. And then he will constantly claim
that 225 pounds and two strong bands per side equals 1,000 pounds at the top!
And he only has you to thank for his new-found strength and false bravado!
7.)
Prowler
Most meatheads do not believe in cardio, but they think pushing a Prowler
around is pretty cool. Put him in his place by letting him know how out-of-shape
he really is after some lower handle work. (Not to mention, it is really fun to
watch meatheads catch the Prowler flu.)
6.)
Yoke Bar
Meatheads aren’t very flexible. That may be a problem when he tries to grip
the bar for squats. Let him know it is okay he doesn’t do Yoga with a Yoke Bar.
The truth though is yoga is the perfect place for true men. Women in
tights…stretching themselves…lots of gas being passed without judgment.
5.) Belt
Walk around in a gym for a bit, and notice the cockiness that oozes from
meatheads when they have their belts on. (Not to mention the pus that oozes
from their zits on their upper back.) Maybe it is because they feel more solid
(as the belt hides their beer gut) or maybe it is because it is pulled so
tightly they have to walk like there is a stick up their ass? Whatever the case-
this is a must for any meathead!
4.) EFS Apparel
Nothing says meathead more than looking like Dave, Jim and the rest of the
EFS crew. However, even with the EFS apparel, shaved head and goatee, they’ll
never be as cool as Dave- but at least make them think they could be.
3.)
EFS Head Harness
When shrugs aren’t helping, get him an EFS Head Harness to help fix his
complex over his skinny neck and tiny traps. This should really be #1. Having
a neck is like having an infectious disease; no one wants to be around you and
chances are it’s your fault. And if not, I’ll still blame you. And ignore you.
2.)
5/3/1
Some meatheads may appear dumb…don’t be fooled. They only read things on
strength training and programs– not fluffy everyday current events or things
like novels. Books like 5/3/1 and Under the Bar are quite the page turners. And
perfect for sitting in their reading room (bathroom) under a blasting fan and
comfortable seat.
1. )
Blast straps
Since 2005, this has been a staple in a meathead’s stocking besides Copenhagen,
Jimmy Dean’s sausage links and Gold Bond Medicated Powder. Blast Straps are key
for developing strength, mass and stability in any athlete’s upper body and
core. And face it; it makes pushups less lame.
Still can't figure out what to get for that special someone? EFS Gift Cards make the perfect gift!
Get your EFS Gift Cards
here.
