Some Days I Hate Squats
By Matthieu Hertilus
Those were the exact words used by one of my clients after finishing her last
set of goblet squats. I couldn’t help but smile, empathizing with her pain as I
had trouble walking around that day from my squat session the day before.
No one likes squats. You have to be out of your mind to say you do. If
you don’t have a funny feeling in the pit of your stomach approaching a squat
session, chances are it sucks. Serious squatters should know what I’m talking
about. They hurt all over and take a tremendous amount out of you physically,
mentally and emotionally. If you’ve never felt this way after squatting, you
need to ask yourself how much effort you put into your training.
Would you willingly stand in front of a speeding truck going 70 miles an hour
on an open highway? Would you leap off a tall building with nothing but the
concrete below as a landing mat? Would you volunteer as a tackling dummy for the
Pittsburgh Steelers’ defense? If you answered no to all these questions, you’re
obviously not crazy, so why do you continue to put yourself through another day
of heavy squats? I don’t know about you, but the day after a strenuous squat
workout, my body feels like it’s been in a car wreck, and sometimes taking shots
from a 300-lb defensive lineman sounds a little more appealing than enduring
another squat workout. Even during routines when I’m staring down at a
puddle of sweat and tears, I wonder why I do this.
You can hit it from the back or the front
I’ve been witness to a growing debate as to which variation of the squat is
more effective—front or back. While they each serve their own purpose, the truth
is they both suck. You should be using both at some point in your training. If
you’re a bodybuilder, you want both to hit different parts of your legs and get
as much muscle development as you can. If you’re an athlete, you need the
posterior chain development that back squats can offer. However, the mobility
and core strength you get in the front squat is almost second to none.
They’re both effective, but they both suck in the sense that they’re both
grueling versions of the king of exercises. Back squats make your whole body
ache while front squats can send your core running for the hills, leaving what’s
left of your fragile body behind. It’s funny how the best thing for you is the
thing you want the least. It’s been that way since we were kids and will
continue to be that way until we’re old and grey. However, there are some
lessons that stay true no matter how old you are—eat your vegetables, pay your
taxes, floss every day, and squat heavy.
I can deal with choking down broccoli until I’m blue in the face and paying
Uncle Sam some of my own hard earned money, but squatting heavy weights is just
plain cruel. Life is funny that way in a sick and twisted sort of way. Some days
I just hate doing squats, and even though they are arguably the best exercise,
if done correctly, for anyone looking to lose fat, gain muscle, or be a better
athlete, I just can’t stand them some days. If you have to ask why, you’re
either not doing them right or you’re not doing enough.
Boxes, chains, bands—oh my!
Not only does squatting with the sound of heavy chains against the
floor look cool—not that the look of an exercise is all you should be looking
for (but let’s face it, it is)—it’s an amazing technique to trick your
muscles and better your performance in the long run.
Used often for athletes looking to increase leg power, box squats are an
excellent way to enforce good technique because they teach you to use your hips
and fully engage the posterior chain when you squat. By adding accommodating
resistance in the form of chains and bands, you will see your squat numbers and
your total body power shoot through the roof. Don’t believe me? Read it from the
man himself in a very informative T-Muscle article titled
Accommodating Resistance.
For those who still haven’t gotten it right
While I could give you a detailed anatomical breakdown of the squat, I
understand most of you have a job, a girlfriend, and a life. With that in mind,
I’ll give you the Cliff’s Notes version of what you need to be focusing on when
you’re squatting.
Keep the core tight: It’s simple. If you have a weak
core, you have a weak squat, and thus a weak body. Squats are one of the best
tests for core strength because safe execution hinges on whether or not you can
keep your core stable. This is accomplished through several drills that you must
keep in mind before you even step inside your squat rack.
First, imagine trying to make your belly button touch your spine. If this is
done correctly, you should look like those fools at the beach who try to pump up
their chest and make their waist look as small as possible. Ridiculous as it may
sound, it’s the perfect start to a great squat. From there, you have your own
weightlifting belt that should keep you stable enough to handle a punch to the
stomach. Secondly, keep a steady arch in your back. For those who slept through
anatomy class, remember that the lower back is the other half of the core or the
often neglected little brother to the big brother abs as I like to put it. If at
any point your back starts to round out, you’re in serious trouble. Trust me
when I say that’s a bad sign. But if you follow the first tip strictly, the
second tip should practically take care of itself.
Third, embed the bar into your traps. After coming out of the hole, that’s when
you want to push your head back (don’t jerk the neck) against the bar.
You should feel as though the bar is ready to become part of your skin. That’s
how tightly it should be kept to your body.
Hit the hole: Speaking of hitting the hole, if
you’re not squatting with your thighs at least parallel to the ground or lower,
you’re not squatting. There, I said it. Too many times I’ve watched guys load up
plate after plate on the bar only to see them come up higher and higher in their
stance. There’s a guy at my gym who quarter squats the hell out of 405 lbs
because he never took the time to develop a full squat. He just likes squatting
big weights, as he told me later (more on the second point later). It’s actually
embarrassing to even write something like that.
So here’s the take home message—squat low. If you’re not executing ass to grass
squats on a regular basis (and you have the ability to do so), shame on you.
Check your ego as the weight doesn’t matter in this case. It’s the effort. I’d
have more respect for a guy who could squat 135 lbs but took the time to do it
right every rep than the guy quarter squatting with 450 lbs. I noticed that from
a lifter at a gym I used to work at. He grinded and sweated his way through a
set of ten with a single 45-lb plate on each side. I was so inspired by the
effort, I had to walk over and just shake his hand for his performance.
P.S.: That’s when you know you’re not in a hardcore lifting environment. If
seeing a full squat becomes such a rarity that you can count on one hand the
numbers of times you’ve seen it done, you need a more hard core gym.
Check the ego: This goes nicely with the previous
story about our quarter depth squatter. It took me until I was 22 years old
before I hit a single, clean 405-lb back squat. This at a body weight of 170
lbs. While most people look for the big bench numbers, I wanted a big squat.
Anyway, the point I make here is that you need patience with your squat if
you’re going to progress and reap its many benefits. If you don’t respect the
precision and diligence associated with the squat, it will make you pay.
Make sure your form is tight and the gains will follow. Don’t concern yourself
with the weight, as a poorly executed squat is worse than not squatting at all.
Just because you leg press 1000 lbs doesn’t mean that display of strength will
translate over to the squat, as your core will tell you. A 1000-lb leg press
shows you have strong legs, but squatting over twice your body weight shows you
have a strong body.
The next level of pain
Now that we’ve covered some of the basics of why your squat may suck and what
you should be doing about it, we move on to those people who actually have been
following the above advice and are now stuck in another dreaded plateau. While 3
X 10, 10 X 3, and 5 X 5 are all well and good, if you’re an experienced lifter,
you’ve been there and done that. With that in mind, here are some routines—one
you know, one you may have tried, one reserved for the bravest and boldest
amongst you, and one that will send you into a full body contusion just by
looking at it (ala The Ring). Keep in mind that as far as routines are
concerned, these are plateau busters or good ole’ shock therapy at its finest.
They shouldn’t be used for more than a few weeks at a time before moving to a
more sane routine. Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, on to the good
stuff.
German volume training (GVT)
One hundred squats—it just sounds insane! While 100 reps of any compound
exercise sounds ridiculous, you really have to give this one a second and third
thought before attempting it. Obviously, the program doesn’t call for massive
amounts of weight, but it’s as mentally taxing as it is physically. TC posted a
great article on it that is definitely worth reading titled
GVT Revisited.
Program: 10 X 10
Rest: 60–90 seconds between sets
Intensity: approximately 50–60% 1RM
Frequency: Once a week
20-rep squats
This is without a doubt the most physically, mentally, soul-crushing, squat
routine I’ve ever experienced. It’s an amazing routine for anyone looking to put
on muscle fast. An old school routine that doesn’t get its dues today, the
“super squats” routine is like that old baller you see hanging around the
playground. He may not have the fancy moves or the quickness that the young kids
have today, but challenge him to a first to five pick-up basketball game and he
will school anybody who dare challenges him. This routine is also referenced as
“breathing squats” because by the time you get to your twelfth or thirteenth
rep, you will need at least a couple deep breaths between reps to get yourself
going again.
Program: 1 X 20
Rest: n/a
Intensity: approximately 60–65% 1RM
Frequency: Twice a week
8 X 8
The last time I did this routine, I staggered off to the men’s room after
lying on one of the nearby benches gasping for air thinking that I was going to
start throwing up everywhere. But when I caught a glimpse of myself in the
mirror, I found that I had broken a blood vessel in one of my eyes, leaving it
bloodshot red for the rest of the day (needless to say I was able to go back to
my training session that day without having to wait for another piece of
equipment). No wonder I was getting so many stares in the men’s room.
What else do you expect from a routine made by the famous Vince Gironda. This
routine isn’t for beginners. It’s not even for seasoned veterans. It’s for
insane lifters who want to gain some serious size or shed a ton of fat while
putting themselves through the worst pain possible. You might think, GVT is a
higher volume program so that’s probably more effective. While GVT is higher in
volume, 8 X 8 leaves people in the dust with its super short rest periods. How
short? Somewhere in the neighborhood of 15–30 seconds (though you want to start
conservatively by shooting for around 45 seconds first and work your way down),
which isn’t even enough time to rack the barbell or get a sip of Surge in. I
wasn’t joking when I said this was for the insane lifter.
The weight you use for this routine will have to be lower than that of GVT,
but it may take one or two workouts to find the right weight. Aim for 50 percent
of your 1RM the first time around and see if you can complete all 64 reps.
Depending on the “ease” of the routine, you can increase the weight at your
discretion the next time. Don’t make it complicated. If you get through it
without noticeable fatigue, the weight is way too light. If you barely get
through the last rep before passing out, you’re probably at just about the right
weight.
Program: 8 X 8
Rest: 30–50 sec between sets
Intensity: approximately 50–60% 1RM
Frequency: Twice a week
There you have it—Shock Therapy, Volume 1: The Squat. These routines
aren’t for beginners, quarter squatters, or lifters who shy away from real pain.
I’ve tried them all, and they were all brutal. The only questions is, which one
are you man enough to try?
Matthieu Hertilus is a graduate student at Rutgers Student studying health
communication. He has trained in a variety of facilities and has worked with a
variety of athletes. He can be reached via email at mhertilus@gmail.com or via
his website at solidstrength.org.
Elite Fitness Systems strives to be a recognized leader in the strength
training industry by providing the highest quality strength training products
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