Lift Like a Gym Rat. Kick Like a Mule

By Iron Smith
for Elitefts.com

Gym accidents are not funny. They may cause serious physical injury that may 
have both short and unfortunately long-term consequences. So it's with mixed 
feelings that I relate another "Legend of Iron Smith Gym" incident. For one 
thing, it didn't happen in my gym but it did involve two key players of my 
Anvils Powerlifting Team, Kirk Bardos and myself. Kirk is my best 
friend and long term lifting partner. We have been through a lot of thick and 
thin times together and our loyalty to each other knows no bounds. Our wives 
are good friends and they support each other in tolerating and surviving our 
antics and adventures. Why they haven't divorced us two gym rats a long ago 
probability says more about their deserving nomination for sainthood than any 
mercy we may deserve! The incident that I'm about to share is probably a 
good example only in that it demonstrates how much damage that a good 
friendship can tolerate.

One evening several years ago at a local Worlds Gym, during a leg workout, 
Kirk and I were really lifting some big iron. Both of us had just finishing 
doing reps in the low five hundreds on box squats and we were really feeling 
our oats. We were the baddest drug free powerlifters in the gym and we were 
feeling a little full of ourselves. The old saying about pride going before 
the fall is very appropriate here. The intensity was there. The rhythm was 
there. Our pace was scorching hot. We were both in the best shape 
of our lives. We moved from one exercise to another at a very rapid pace. We 
were in each other's faces urging and goading each other on. We were 
indestructible. Nothing could stop us. 

We moved over to the Reverse Hyper Bench to put the finishing touches to our 
lower backs, gluts, and hamstrings. Louie Simmons' invention was a work of 
pure genius. The lifter lies on their stomach on the bench with their legs 
hanging straight down. There is a strap attached to an upside down T-Bar 
swing loaded with weights that goes around the lifter's ankles. As the 
lifter raises up their legs to the back to bring them up in a straight line 
with their upper body, the strap lifts the weights on the swinging T-bar. The 
perfect exercise to both rehabilitate and build up amazing strength on your 
backside that translate to big squats and deadlifts.

I went first. Because the top of the bench is about the level of my chest, I like 
to step up on a plastic box placed behind the Reverse Hyper Machine to assist 
myself in getting into the right position as I lay face down on my belly. 
Then Kirk was to remove the box out of the way so I could swing my legs and 
the weight up from the back. This is a simple procedure but again we were moving at a 
fast clip. Kirk said, "Ready?" meaning was I ready to have him move the box. 
I thought that he meant it was clear to begin my exercise. Up flew my legs 
with explosive speed. Clunck! My heels caught Kirk right in his nose. Later 
he said he felt like a mule kicked him! Down he went out cold! I
didn't know what happened as I could only see straight ahead. So I continued 
my set, full of enthusiasm. I finished, and jumped off the bench. There laid 
Kirk in a pool of blood, bleeding profusely from his noise. He stirred and 
then sat up with a somewhat dazed look on his face. I didn't know whether to 
laugh or cry. Kirk uttered a few syllables that reassembled something you 
might hear coming from an old Drill Sergeant, and I knew he was OK. I told 
him to sit there and I would go get him some help. I went up to the front 
desk and reported that some guy was making a mess back in the legs workout 
area and he should be asked to leave the gym. The young desk attendant did 
just that and really riled Kirk up! I thought he was ready to spit fire. 
Laughing my head off, I ask Kirk if he was going to sit there all night and 
bleed or get off his butt and finish his workout. He did. With big wads of 
toilet paper stuffed up his nose, we both did our Reverse Hypes finishing off 
one of the best workouts we ever had. And we made sure to get our signals 
straight from that point on.

Kirk later told me that I was the only person who had ever bloodied his nose. 
We laugh about it now but we both take it seriously too. Weightlifting, 
especially, powerlifting can be dangerous if you don't practice some common 
sense rules. Always have a spotter. Don't lift more than you can handle and 
have prepared for. Practice perfect form. Make sure your exercise equipment 
and personal gear is in good repair. Get adequate recuperation in-between 
training sessions. Eat good food and take sensible supplementation. And as 
Kirk and I learned the hard way, get your signals straight especially if 
doing a new exercise or one that you and your training partner have not done 
together for a while!

And to tell you the truth, I was not so worried about what Kirk might do to 
get even as I was worried about his wife's reaction. Kirk's wife may be a 
saint but I've seen how she psyched him at a meet a few years ago. It's the 
type of story you tell around the campfire when you want to scare the blue 
blazes out of everyone. Not a lady you want to cross or hurt her man. But 
that's another story for another time. Keep hammering!
________________
Lawrence M. "Iron" Smith, ACSW, LISW is a professional Social Worker and is 
employed by the Ohio Department of Rehabilitation and Correction in Mental 
Health Services. He is also the current Ohio NASA record holder in the Squat, 
Bench, Deadlift, and Total in both the Masters II (50-59 yr.) SHW and Masters 
SHW Pure (lifetime drug free) Classes. He also holds the World Squat Record 
in the IPA SHW Amateur 55-60 yr. old class. Iron Smith has over 40 years 
experience in the Iron Game. He can be contacted through his web site: 
ironsmithgym.com.