I never thought of Disney World as the perfect place for EFS to be located.
It wasn’t until Dave kept sending me picture after picture of his trip that I
began to think – EFS is better suited in Disney. Let’s move!
1. Their mascot is much more jacked and intimidating.
He doesn’t even need to be shirtless to show off his guns.
Disney mascot
EFS mascot
2. It snows too much in Ohio.
This is NOT conducive for prowler-pushing weather, even though some adjustments
could make it an effective snowplow.
Their weather
Our weather
3. Hats would fit.
Lifters are always in need of hats to fit their big bald heads.
Disney BIG hat
How our hats fit
4. We’d recruit bigger, hairier lifters.
Our lifters would have to share the gym space with these beasts…
Could you imagine ‘Nairing’ that thing?
Disney Powerlifter
EFS Powerlifter
5. Their bench shirts are so much cooler!
Our bench shirts are awesome, but imagine the PRs you could break with these.
Dancing Bear Bench Shirts
Our Bench Shirts
6. Our rides suck.
Our rides are a lot shorter (although they may sometimes feel like they take
forever), they only go up and down and you are lucky if you even make it back to
the top. Plus, we still use manpower, haven’t made the switch to electric yet.
Our makeshift ride
Their thrill rollercoaster
7. We’d have a much bigger office.
I wouldn’t be crammed in an office with Dave. I also wouldn’t be able to hear
the porn playing on Jim’s computer through the office wall.
New office building of EFS
Old look
8. Better cardio entertainment.
Dave put a television in the weight room. While I’m doing cardio – it’s
awesome. There’s a problem - it only plays one station. One measly station! At
least the infomercials kick ass.
Disney World has live lifting music. Who’s music would you rather listen to?
Disney live music
EFS DJ
Rachel is training for her first competition and lifelong dream of being
on The Bachelor. She believes she'll win because she enjoys long romantic walks
on the treadmill, Disney movies, expensive dinners at McDonald’s, stuffed
animals won for her out of claw machines and the smell of blue heat on sweaty
men.
Her talents include, but are DEFINITELY limited to dancing, running the
monolift, smiling, correcting Dave’s spelling, baking with Betty Crocker,
writing and avidly following her 5/3/1 religion.
Rachel trains at the Mecca of strength hoping to one day wear heels, lots of
pretty sparkles and Protan. She is known to her many adoring fans as “Bubbles.”
Elite Fitness Systems strives to be a recognized leader in the strength
training industry by providing the highest quality strength training products
and services while providing the highest level of customer service in the
industry. For the best training equipment, information, and accessories, visit
us at www.EliteFTS.com.
