Hopefully this gives you an idea what it takes to be big and strong, and by extension of those, awesome.

After about 5,762,987 trillion text messages and half as many e-mails back and forth between Kiefer and myself, we came up with a plan.

Realize that I’ve got a pretty busy day tomorrow, doing this all over again.

I’ve had so much pain in my lower back that it’s hard to get up or sit down in a chair, let alone try to squat or deadlift a couple hundred pounds.

You’re either jumping from program to program every month, or you’re taking parts of different programs and concepts you like, and throwing them together.

“Why the hell are you idiots doing that?”

I didn’t know what their problem was…I’m pretty good looking.

If you were born with a penis, chances are you have a favorite Chinese buffet.

“What happens when they’re too weak to squat?”