"If you aren't with us, you're against us", "Everyone is out to get me", "I can't believe these people would do this to me, to us, to them".
I have heard these statements over and over. I'm sure you have too. I have been thinking about our viewpoints and our own experiences and how they shape our view of the world in relation to our own selves quite a bit lately. This is due to my own interpersonal relationships, my decisions, my mistakes, and my victories. And I will tell you right now, no matter your experience and no matter your horror or your wonder, you must take ownership of it for you are the only one capable of doing anything with it.
This is why the topic of discussion here is not experience, but reaction. Viewing the world as a victim, and as a byproduct results in a scarce viewpoint, where you claw and scratch for whatever you can get and consider all others not in your allegiance, or alliance your enemy. I'm sure you can draw parallels to certain schools of thought in powerlifting, or certain individuals in your own lives. The individual who is always in crisis, or who is always on the receiving end of the proverbial short end of the stick.
I myself fight with the notion of feeling this way especially after the 2019 that I have had. Divorce, break up, make up, home changes, job changes, suicides, murders, injuries, and arguments have left me more often than once lamenting "why me? why me? God. Find somebody else. Please just this once, take these burdens and place them elsewhere" But I control my thoughts. I do not let them control me. Through effort and struggle, I control my thoughts. Through tears and rage I control my thoughts, they do not control me.
I elaborate there because I am not claiming it to be easy. And I am not claiming it to be simple. It will hurt. Life will try to kill you every day, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. But you are in the driver's seat. You can work against it and with it, or you can kneel before it and take your beating. I don't know about you but I would rather die on my feet, than on my knees. Take from that what you will.
This acknowledgement of the work you have to do, and the willingness to do it is what having an abundant mentality means. You realize that there is more than enough of the world to go around for you, and while this may mean that there is a lot of bad out there, there is just as equally an amount of good for the taking. You can control what you do, what you see, and who you are in the way that you conduct yourself and the actions you take in response to the way people conduct themselves around you and through you.
We as powerlifters are a generally ornery bunch, and tend to enjoy the creation of hashtags to form identities, bonds, and a sense of allegiance with like minded individuals. Scarcity vs abundancy would lead us to observe the difference between different camps when it comes to the identification of oneself. Scarce viewpoints tend to take oppositional stances, and could be related to the statements I threw out there at the beginning. "We are against everyone because we identify as NOT YOU". This is all the while abundant viewpoints would state that "we are we, because we are proud" and seem to celebrate the identity of self, while remaining independent of the condemnation of others. Coaches celebrate other coaches, and while criticism may be abundant, it is fruitful and resultant in learning, rather than unrelenting hatred and ad hominem attacks. I'm sure examples can be brought to mind, and even then those individuals that are shining examples of abundancy, are not without flaw. I have talked my fair share of shit, and condemned others, but at this point I would refer above to the knowledge that it requires work. We as people, not just powerlifters, have quite a difficult time getting past negative experiences in our lives and those experiences seem to be "louder" in our memories than those of the positive.
We are wired to avoid pain. To avoid hurt, and to avoid the way the world tries to beat us every day. This, if left unexamined, will lead us to a scarcity mentality that will be incredibly selfish in operation and will lead us to simply be living to avoid hurt/disappointment/failure rather than taking advantage of the possibility of victory being out there.
The above graphic is not only related to my hooey wooey therapy bullshit, but it is related to our own experiences at meets or in gyms as well. People suck out there! Believe me, I have made my fair share of mistakes and made enough people hate me because of things I myself have done. But I have worked to identify some of those traits in myself and to avoid making the same mistakes in the future by using that knowledge.
It is up to me, and to you the reader, to put out what we want and what we believe we should be able to expect from the world around us. If I think "man the world sucks. I cannot put faith in anyone. I can't rely on any individual to wrap my knees or be a consistent training partner. I can't expect anything from someone because it will just leave me open to disappointment".
Okay. But. So what? If you are hurt, or if you bare your heart to someone, and it is stepped on or it simply doesn't work, so what? They are individuals. You respect yourself enough to consider your thoughts and actions independent and powerful, why can you not extend the same honor to them? You can make your own mistakes, and earn your own regrets in life. Knowing this, you must be willing to offer the same honor to others, even if it is in direct opposition to your own desires.
You can't control those people's actions! You can only control your own. And if you THINK that you SHOULD be able to rely on some people for the things listed above, then you start with allowing people to rely on YOU for those things. And I am not urging martyrdom or self sacrifice beyond your means, but simply do good. Do what you think is right, and orient yourself to be an individual with an abundant mindset. Succeed, and be proud, and bring as many people that you can along with you and celebrate their own success because of course, you would want them to celebrate your's, wouldn't you?
We cannot extend ourselves to everyone, but if we are met with open arms, I am confident that you can achieve much more than you believe yourself to be able to currently. And that belief is inherently related to exactly how far we can go, and how many people we can bring along for the ride. Open yourself up to the possibility of looking at your life as NOT "but what's the worst that could happen? What if I fail?" but rather "what's the best possible outcome that could happen? What if I win?"
This is not easy. This is not simple. This does not mean everyone will like you. You CAN and WILL be criticized and even hated, but you can still do good and be good. This does not mean your eyes will always adjust to the positive. It is up to you to continually KNOW this and refine your vision. No one else can do this but you. And this does not mean you will not make mistakes. But it does mean that you will meet your challenge, your life, and your inevitable death with vigor and while on your feet and a toothy grin on your face.
