Less than 2 Weeks Out from XPC Finals @ The Arnold Classic
The past few weeks I've been trying to limit how often I discuss it in my logs, but I just need to vent about some of this and it will also be something good for me to look back on in the future when these things are resolved.
This whole training cycle I've been struggling with severe anxiety and struggling to sleep for the days following heavy training; and despite training my ass off my numbers in training are much lower than they've been in the past. I've had anxiety/depression affect life outside of training for a while but they've gotten dramatically worse this year and I feel more mentally and physically burnt out than I ever have in the past. I'm trying to focus on the fact that sometimes the toughest training cycles can result in a good meet (it's happened for me in the past), and that the lifts in training aren't necessarily an indicator of your absolute strength. My doctor has me trying 3 new medications to try and help, and on the positive side it seems to be helping me get to sleep earlier, but my anxiety throughout the day has gotten worse and they've made it very difficult to concentrate.
I've been trying to focus on ways to improve my mental approach to training, and I was able to really dig in the last few weeks to get locked in and train hard through Circa Max, but my off days from training have gotten even worse and I constantly feel like I need to puke throughout my entire day at work. It's frustrating especially when I've been able to improve a lot of aspects of my perspective in regards to training and life in general; but throughout the day I'm shaking and feel sick to my stomach from nervousness with no apparent cause.
I'm just taking a day at a time and come meet day I'll be hitting the platform and give 100%. I know I'll eventually get these issues resolved, and when I do I'll appreciate training, work, and relationships that much more. I'm in this for the long haul so I know I just need to get through this meet and keep trying to take good steps forward. It will pay off.
I took my bench opener Monday. I'm opening lighter than I ever have in the past for this meet, with 475lbs. I'm trying to open as conservatively as possible, then I can take big jumps on my next attempts.
A. ShouldeRok Swings - 3x12 each side
B. Band Pull-Aparts - 3x15
C. Bench in Metal Pro - Opener @ 475lbs (dumped bar a little bit and hit the J Cup on the way up)
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDVTyQfdbXY]
D. Dumbbell Press - 2x25 w/ 85lb dumbbells
E1. Band Face Pulls - 3x15
E2. Tricep Pushdowns - 3x20
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Sorry to read about you issues with anxiety and depression. I know that you have been working toward bettering yourself for a while and I wish you positive thoughts in overcoming your issues.
As far as your shirted bench, I wanted to offer you some advice that helped me in the past. Not sure what fed you will be lifting in and their specific rules, but you might try lifting your head off the bench and looking the weight into your chest to touch. Some feds require that the head remain in contact with the bench throughout the entire press but if it is an option then you might want to try it and see if it helps you touch weight cleanly. Some will tell you that the chest falls (increases ROM) when the head comes off the bench but I think it affects the raw bench to a greater degree than a shirted press. An additional benefit is when you press you can throw your head back to the bench (this causes the chest to rise) and this coupled with leg drive and the shirt itself creates a tremendous pop off the chest. The goal becomes to get those triceps kicking in early so that they can take advantage of the speed and carry though to lockout.
Good luck with your final prep and I hope to see you crush it on the platform.