The Weight Cut

In my last log post, I think I said I would give everyone an update about weigh-in's and how everything turned out.   Well, that didn't exactly work out how I planned, for a variety of reasons.  So, I guess I will start with that first.  My process of cutting water for a meet is usually all the same.  I cut carbs about 10 days out, water load, and then shower and sweat the remainder of the weight off.  Usually cutting carbs and water loading gets me anywhere from 3-5lbs loss the last week.  This time, it gave me 1lb.  It was kind of a shock to me, but I was warned that things could be very different this time around.  I stopped drinking my water at about noon on Thursday.  Immediately following this I felt my throat get dry and scratchy.  Something told me I was getting sick, but I tried to ignore it.  We landed in San Diego and went straight to the gym to weigh and pick up a scale Gracie was kind enough to let me borrow.  I was heavy, and I was starting to feel crappier the later it got in the day.  Thinking it was my allergies, I took an allergy pill.  Nope.

And now the fun part, I started to cut water in the shower.  Honestly, it wasn't even that bad, minus the fact that I felt like my head was going to explode.  I got down to 173-174ish and I just couldn't do it anymore.  Usually when I get to the point of "I can't do this anymore", it's like 3am and I'm within 3-5lbs.  I had 8 lbs to go and it was only 11.  I felt like total crap, I just couldn't do it.  I was starting to cramp, and I didn't feel well at all.  At this point I knew for sure, that I was getting sick, and it wasn't just the dehydration.  So, Swede cut me off, and to avoid any further dehydration, I drank some water.  10+ meets, 10+ water cuts, and I've never not made weight.  This meet had a lot of firsts for me.  I weighed in at 173.6, and that's after chugging about 3 bottles of water.  So, okay with this.  I didnt want to lose strength from the cut, so this decision was a smart one.  My body was grateful for me stopping the water cut the next day, too.  Could I have made weight?  Probably.  Would I have been able to perform? Probably not.  I spent the day sneezing, with watery eyes, coughing, and basically popping DayQuil every 6 hours.  I also had some HORRIBLE juice from Whole Foods that my diet coach, Streaky, recommended.  I'm still almost positive that it saved me for meet day.

The Meet

Speaking of, now, the meet. I'm SO excited to tell about this. Going into it I didn't even know my openers, I always kind of just let Swede take care of those things.  I was a little worried, because I still didn't feel 100% and the pressure in my sinuses was still pretty bad.  But, I once had a coach that told me he wished I would get sick before every softball game we played, because I pitched THAT much better. Maybe it's the added stress, who knows, but I'm not complaining.  Meet day was cake.  Everything was, easy.  In fact, the only reason I feel like I even did a meet is because I started to cramp before bench a little bit, so I have some soreness in my back.  Other than that, I feel great, which makes me even more excited for my next meet, and making 165.

Here were my attempts:

Squat: 369/397/419
Bench: 226/242/259
Deadlift: 397/430/463

Total: 1,141 @ 174

Next Goal: 1200+ @ 165.

Life

I've gone through a lot of changes over the past 3-4 months.  I've tried to share those and be as open and honest, without completely revealing every detail about my life.  This is important.  The last thing I want to ever do is sugar coat my life, or act like I don't have struggles.  Your struggles do not define you, and they only keep you down if you let them.  I was in a dark place, for a while.  Picking myself back up and pushing through it has been a process.  I have good days, and I have bad days.  I wasn't happy, so I had to do what would ultimately end in happiness for me, which might be the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

Now, what exactly changed for me?  Without making this into a diary...

I transitioned from full time student, to full time social worker, in literally 2 weeks.  When you go from student your entire life, to handling other people's lives...at 23, that's kind of huge.  I dieted and lost almost 20lbs, which inevitably caused me to lose some strength (which would've been enough mind games by itself.)  I'm single, for the first time since high school.  This is a weird one, and a difficult thing for me.  I've talked a lot about independence.  I like to think my mom did an awesome job of raising me and teaching me the skills I need to be on my own and succeed.  She has, actually, I just never had to do anything on my own.  I listen and guide my clients with their problems and brainstorm to find the best solution, every single day.  A lot of these are basic, day to day issues, and I handle them quite well in regards to the people I serve.  It's when you have to handle them in your own life, is where it gets tricky.  Over the past few months, I moved back into my parents house, and then due to unexpected family plans, had to find an apartment on short notice, with no savings.  This was a really difficult thing for me to accept and be okay with, especially because every single change that has happened revolving around my independence and living on my own, is a direct result of a decision that I 100% made by myself.  I have never lived on my own.  Unless you want to count my freshman year of college, when I went away t school and stayed in the dorms (I still went home every weekend lol.)  Regardless, I survived. I get happier with each day that passes, and I'm learning how to be on my own.  More importantly, I'm learning how to be happy with myself, which is something I haven't been able to do for my whole existence. This trip is just another positive experience to add to the memory books.

Vacation

The first thing I did when I got hired at my job, was booked this  vacation.  I booked a cottage right on the edge of the cliffs, located in Sunset Cliffs; it has proved to be the best thing I have ever done for myself.  I write this as I sit in the living room, with the sliding door open, looking out into the ocean, and hearing the waves crash along the cliffs.  The best part is I get to share this awesome experience with my best friend, Swede.  He has a lot of roles in my life, and he probably always will, but best friend is what comes to mind, first.  He's always been there and has watched me grow as a person, into the woman I am today.  I've found it's hard to find people who will stay, long term.  He's always there, and he always will be, and I am forever grateful to have him as a part of my life.