Every meet is different.  Every prep is different. Every outcome is different.  We prepare to hit our "predicted" numbers and 99 times out of 100, the outcome is different (sometimes in small ways, sometimes in big ways) than what "should have" happened.

This meet was no exception.  I had a lot of time to reflect afterwards with Anto, and again on my drive home.  If you know me well, you know I'm very self-reflective as I feel that's what helps me to grow, change and overcome. And the great thing about Anto and our relationship is I can say what's on my mind... no matter how stupid, or silly or egotistical or sad or non-sensical it may sound.  He listens and helps me work through it without judgment one way or the other. (Those kind of people are hard to find in life.)

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PRE-MEET

Bodyweight was holding steady at 134 before I left.  Cut back on carbs for a few days, kept it clean and pounded water.  I arrived in Columbus Wednesday evening and was weighing in at 131.5. Since I was already under, I knew I could eat and drink.

Woke up at 131.2.  Had a burger and a bagel, then a bowl of cereal with egg whites later. Kept liquids to a minimum just to be safe. Anto got into town around 11 and we took off to see John Meadows And Scott Stevenson at their seminar. Timing was perfect as they were on a lunch break. John is one of my favorite people and he's always busy, so I knew catching up would be tough, but as always, I'm glad we made it work.  Ran into Dr. Serrano as well, which is always a fun time.

We listened to John rattle off a bunch of insulin facts during his talk before stealing a box of Amy's Donuts on the way out.

Headed for weigh-ins at 3:00... hit 131.0 on the dot, then hit up The Spot Athletics for Christian and friend Yvonna to get some training in. (yep, I ate donuts while they trained.)  Refeed meal and hit the hay to rest up.

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MEET DAY

We decided to stay back at the hotel all morning to rest up. Got to the meet site at 1:30 as the morning session was just finishing up. Moved around a bit, started warming up for squats at 2:00 for a 3:00 start time.  Perfect timing.

SQUAT

Warm-ups went: bar 2x10, 115x5, 155x3, 205x1, 235x1, 255x1, 285x1 (light wrap)

Opener: 310 (good)... everything felt great
Second: 330 (good)... this was already a raw PR.  It was tough and a little grindy. We agreed I needed to utilize the wraps more to make this third attempt (which I had missed in training)
Third: 340 (miss)... technically I stayed on point (which didn't happen 2 weeks prior in training). Still a few more tweaks but it's there.

BENCH

Warmups went: bar, 2x10, 95- 2x5, 115x3, 135x1, 155x1

Opener: 175 (good)... easy, solid as always
Second: 190 (good)... meet PR again. A little off, but couldn't pinpoint it.  Still pressed it super smoothly.
Third: 200 (miss)... been chasing this meet number for years. Felt amazingly light in my hands on the hand-off. When I missed and walked over to Anto, he says, "What happened?"..... I literally had no idea.

At this point, it's like 7:00 and I needed to get a nap in.  My body was tired and sleepy (I hate afternoon meets.... hate hate hate). So I curled up under a sweat shirt and closed my eyes for a bit.  It wasn't great but definitely helped.

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DEADLIFT

Because of the sumo pain/issues I was having, I decided to just pull conventional.  I didn't even want to warm up sumo, have pain set in and then have to deal with it.  And I knew I could pull decent conventional.

Warmups went: 135- 2x3, 185x2, 225x1, 255x1, 275x1

Opener: 300 (good)... we knew this was going to be very light and we set this opener thinking I may be pulling sumo.  Even after deciding conventional, there was no point in going up... to what.... 315?  Why?  Just get an easy one on the board and make a bigger jump on a second if need be.
Second: 325 (good).... felt better than the first.
Third: 350 (good).... This isn't a meet PR (only 10# off), but we definitely wanted to get a PR total, so it was perfect.  Could I have jumped to 365? Probably... especially the way 350 moved... but you don't know that til after.  And if we made a big jump and missed, then my total is way off where I wanted it. Was challenging but definitely had some in the tank.

Finished 7/9 with an 870 total (10# PR total).

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I could go on and on.... and on.... about the friends I ran into, my teammates and my biggest support, Christian.... But they all know how I feel. Every year it blows me away how I see people I haven't seen in, well, years and we pick right up.  Todd Brock is someone who I've known since the early Westside days and is still one of my favorite people ever.  Zane Geeting and his girl Tuesday. Bruce Mason and Nicole Lutz. Jason Pegg and Jessica. Brian and Samantha Scott. Anthony Hobaica. The entire Omaha Barbell crew. My old training partner and Buffalo cohort, Paul Childress. My teammates Yessie, Casey, Ted and the entire EliteFTS staff. The list goes on.

While I don't know if I'll ever compete at the Arnold again, seeing all these people re-energizes me about what I do, why I love competing and the relationships I've made because of it.

Which leads to....

REFLECTIONS

This meet had a lot of meaning behind it. It signified putting some old things behind (relationships, training ideas, mentalities and attitudes) and stepping into a new chapter (relationships, training, self, and faith).

I had goals, of course.  Some of which were reached and others still just an inch away. In the end, there were some serious takeaways from this meet.

1. I'm healthy and competitive after 20 years of competing. Not many can say that. In a sport where people go all out for 5 years and crash and burn, I still love what I do.

2. Never does it end well when you compete for others. It's not to say you don't work toward "winning", but I think the intent and heart behind how you approach game day says a lot. I look back and see moments during prep and the meet where my nerves were rattled. Anto's coaching had me hitting numbers in training and, admittedly, I was scared of them. HE had confidence in me. HE knew those numbers were there. Not letting him down weighed heavily on me and for me, I cannot compete with that mentality.

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3. "Work is a gift to be a platform for relationships." This quote came from a man named Kennon Vaughan. Kennon is a pastor at Harvest Church in Memphis (Christian's home church) and I listened to his Sunday morning live stream message on my drive back home. I was already writing this meet write-up in my head and as he spoke, it all just came together.

This thing called powerlifting is part of my "work."  People ask me allllll the time why I still compete. I never have a good answer and I probably sound like a dork when I say, "I don't know.... cuz I love to!"

We are not made FOR work. We are made FOR God and FOR relationships.  Kennon gave countless examples of where this is applicable, one of which he and his son were doing laboring yard work for hours and hours.  His son finally said, "Dad, I love shoveling mulch."  He thought, what in the world??? No one likes shoveling mulch!!  And when he asked his son why, his son replied, "Well, you're right.  I don't like shoveling mulch.  I like being out here with you."

Work is a gift to be a platform for relationships. 

Training, lifting and competing is part of my work. I love it because of the relationships I've built over 20 years.  Those people above.... those are people who year after year I can hug and say, "Man... it's so good to see you!"  I can help someone with technique.  I can offer meet prep advice.  I can lift-off, wrap knees, grab a bottle of water... all as part of my work and do it with joy and care and love.

I do believe God has given me this gift of lifting and competing to continue to build relationships and help others.  Maybe so I can #LiveLearnPassOn year after year.  Maybe so I can be an example to young competitors and young girls coming up in the sport. EliteFTS CFO Steve Diel reached out to our team and said he knew a girl who needed her knees wrapped Saturday afternoon.  Christian and I said "sure, we'll be there."

I don't know all the why's, but I do know that working for what others have is an empty pursuit. I immediately pinpointed times during my prep where I compared myself to others, or wanted what others had, or felt "why can't I be there?"

I've been at the top of the powerlifting scene before. I'll be the first to admit that as a raw lifter for the past 3 years, I'm not really all that great. Where 400 pound squats and 450 pound deadlifts are the norm, I am far from that. Will I continue to push to be better, fight against age and wear and tear and strive for bigger numbers? Absolutely.  But I'll do so with balance in my heart.  I'll do so knowing that my time with people and my relationships through this sport are why I do what I do.

In the most humbling way, I get a little giddy when people meet me and say, "It's so nice to meet you... I've been following you for years!" As my teammate Dani LaMartina (Overcash) said to me once (paraphrased), "You aren't who you are because of your total.... but because of what you DO with that total."

God has blessed me with this gift of work.