I haven't been doing my coach logs for a few months, and even prior, I wasn't doing them consistently. The only reason is that I didn't have much to talk about that I hadn't lamented over for the last year or two. I wanted to wait until I had some solid momentum and was progressing well with consistency before I started back into a routine of updating my coach log each month. I'm at a place now where that can happen.
For those who don't know, I battled a couple of major injuries in the last three years. It brought me down, took all my motivation to train, and made training an obligation vs. something I looked forward to doing. After coming out on the other end of these major injuries, I finally have something to discuss, and I am excited to train and progress again. I have been back to consistent, injury-free training for six months.
The first question I faced was whether I could ever train my legs again at all. I solved that problem.
The second question was whether I could train hard enough and heavy enough to make the training worthwhile. I solved that problem, as well.
The next question was whether I could get my leg size back and train injury-free to go back to making really good gains. I am currently solving that one now, and as shocked as I sometimes am that I'm progressing so well, I'm finally comfortable publicly stating that I am confident that I'm going to continue to improve and at least get back to where I was before the injuries.
The only question left unanswered—but one that will be answered at some point this year—is whether I can take my leg development above and beyond what it was before the injuries. I can't even guess what that answer is right now. All I can say is that I am progressing very well and improving with each training session like I'm a newbie who just started training. If you think about it, my legs might feel like they just started to be trained because I could not train them hard or heavy for roughly three years.
My progress moving forward isn't just about my legs, though. Even at 53, I want everything to grow, and I want my entire physique to continue to progress. The doubters will say I'm too old, and I was questioning this not long ago. However, I'm a pretty realistic guy, and I don't feed myself bullshit sandwiches; I believe that I am improving and can still surpass my development in my upper body, as well. This isn't "positive thinking"; This is me assessing how my training has been going for the last six months, and every indication is that I can still continue to improve as long as I stay injury-free.
Those who know me well know that I always prefer to stay incredibly lean. I am not focused on that as much as I am focused on getting size and seeing how much I can grow before I lean down at some point in 2024. I'm not piling on the calories and piling on the gains. Instead, I'm taking the slower approach and focusing on staying as lean as possible while adding quality size. At 53, I am not going to put my health in jeopardy by pushing tons of calories, farting and shitting all of the time, and pushing BP and body fat higher, all for the sacrifice of size. I love what I do, but I don't want to die, either. I have been married for thirty years, and we have four kids and three grandkids (and counting). None of them care if I'm jacked. I would hate to have them eulogize me by saying something stupid like, "He just wanted to be the most jacked mediocre bodybuilder out there." At the same time, this shit is in my veins (kind of literally, I guess), and it's something I have had a passion for that is coming up on forty years. I have nothing to prove to anyone else, but I have something to prove to myself. I have new motivation to prove that I can endure the worst injuries I've ever had and still train, be in great shape, and progress.
I have been asked quite a bit over the last few months if I will compete again. I'm tired of answering that and being wrong. I have wanted to be back on stage for years, but there always seemed to be something that kept me from getting there (and I genuinely want to compete; I'm not sabotaging myself or talking shit), whether an injury or some massive personal catastrophe. I am not even thinking about competing at all. I won't even entertain the idea when I'm staring at the ceiling fan in the dark before I fall asleep. The only thing I care about right now is enjoying injury-free training, progressing, and just being happy that I can train without limitations for the first time in a very long time. If that all culminates with me ending up on stage, that would be awesome. It might or might not end that way; I don't know, and I don't care right now.
I will continue to focus on my progress because, after all is said and done, I love the journey more than I do the destination. I suck at bodybuilding, and maybe it's a good thing that I suck at it because I may have lost the fire to improve had I been good at it.
I will do this until I collapse. I won't do it at the expense of the rest of my life, but I will do it along with everything else that has value in my life. It's a package deal. I am a bodybuilder—just not a very good one. And momma said that if you do something long enough, eventually you'll get good at it. I think she lied to me, but I'm still trying, anyway.
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