Let me first be clear that everything is going very well. I have had yet another week of great workouts, great progress and overall I can't ask for things to be going any better at this point minus a couple of minor issues:

1. I have a blister on my big toe that looks like another big toe. I want to pop it because ... well, I'm a guy and guys like to pop blisters. However, I figured that if I did pop it, My foot would hurt even more while doing my nightly walks with my wife and daughter. Plus, I haven't died from COVID yet, and I don't know about YOUR luck but I would get it from a blister -- somehow -- if that is even possible.

2. I gave a double-red donation on Thursday and if you don't know how a double-red donation works, they take your whole blood for about 10-12 minutes and then for a couple of minutes the machine returns your plasma and platelets. The cycle starts over and you do this 3 or 4 times (I don't count).
On the last cycle, the phlebotomist took the arm cuff off and left the needle in my arm (still taped) and it started burning like fire and I could feel it throbbing. I told her within 10-15 seconds of this happening (calmly) that something was off and that it was burning. She took the needle out and said that I should have told her sooner. WTF? I told you as soon as it happened. 

Any way, when the machine was returning my plasma and platelets, some of it ended up under my skin and though it didn't hurt at the time, my arm has been hurting since Thursday. It's a little better today and I should be able to use it tomorrow night to train, I think. I was scheduled to not train Thursday and Friday, anyway, but decided to add an extra day on Saturday to make sure that my arm is good to go.

Like I said, minor things that I don't consider big obstacles and neither situation has gotten in the way of my progress.

However, my brain is really fucking with me. When I was not training for a couple of days, I got to thinking about how I am roughly 9 weeks out of a show that I doubt is going to happen. The date of the show is almost certainly going to be pushed a month and probably two.  I know that the promoter is smart enough to not announce the change of the show date too far out so that competitors don't decide to simply pull the plug. If a promoter can keep competitors on the hook and announce the show date changing only a few weeks before a show, those competitors are more likely to push through and still compete at the later date.  I don't like it but this is a business and I understand why they do it. 

I am in South Florida and the last 2 counties that will have gyms open in Florida will be my county (Broward) and Miami-Dade (I also train in Miami). Our gyms will not open until at least the end of May and possibly later. If they open on June 1st, that only leaves competitors about 6 weeks to train in a "real" gym to get ready for one of the largest regional shows in the southern states (Hence, the name). Even if they DO have the show on the regular date, not many people are going to show up to compete in this show. When I say "not many," I mean very few.  Plus, the show is in Broward County and it isn't up to the promoter whether the show goes on our not. The promoter can want to do the show but if the state won't let there be an audience, the promoter will not have the show (obviously). From a business standpoint, this is a bad idea when all the promoter has to do is push the date another month or two.

There is more to the brain fuck.

I wanted very badly to do Masters Nationals for the first time because I turned 50 back in March. I feel like I can be competitive in the over-50 masters division and I feel it would be a lot of fun to compete with people I have known for years -- all over the country -- that are my age at this show. I didn't say anything publicly until now but this was the plan all along.

It was announced a couple of weeks ago that the Masters Nationals show was pushed to mid-October instead of mid-July. This means, if I were to compete in mid-July here in Florida, I would still have another 14 weeks to prep for Masters Nationals.  A total of 37 weeks in prep is a LONG time for anyone. I am enjoying the process but... come on, now. That's a LONG TIME.

What I have come to in the last few days is that it would be a better idea to push to a show in August or even early September and then push through to Masters Nationals in October. This would allow me to back off slightly (not much but some) for the next 3-4 weeks and then pick up steam again to finish this long prep phase. My brain is in it right now. I am just concerned that my brain will stay in it as the prep gets more arduous.

There would be nothing worse (for my brain) than to keep pushing for the July show and then a few weeks before the show, find out that it was pushed and I would be sitting in incredible shape at 3 weeks out and have to back of for a show that would then be another 10-11 weeks away. You can say what you want but I've been doing this a long time and that is hard for psyche to deal with. If I just push to another show, I don't have to peak and then back off only to peak yet again. I can start to back off now before my body and brain gets too beaten up, and THEN start to hit the throttle again moving forward.

There is, of course, the option of also doing North Americans in the over-50 division, as well. That show is scheduled for early September and that would mean that Masters Nationals is only about 4 weeks after that show. 

My point to all of this is that it is disappointing. I know some of you will say (and have) that "it's only a bodybuilding show" and "there are other things more important right now...." My answer to that is fuck you. I'm 50 and in my all-time best position to do very well and I'm injury-free and healthy. I don't have the years in front of me that I have behind me, so this scheduling mess is concerning and disappointing and I make no apologies. Bodybuilding is not the most important thing to me in my life. However, right now I am locked in and committed and I have done everything right to set myself up for these shows and it just sucks that the timeframe has changed. I was planning on having some fun after July and traveling a little bit to see my kids, go back to Colorado to visit, etc., and that is all on hold until October. I have every right to be disappointed but I will see this through. I want this and I am enjoying the process more than I have in a long time.


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