You know, I have been prepping for more years than I can count.  There is little that surprises me during a prep and there are few things that get into my head or sidetrack me - not because I'm so mentally strong as much as the longer you do something the easier it seems to be because thing are more predictable and there are fewer surprises.

However, I am going to admit that I am really struggling with coming off last week and getting my head back in the place it needs to be.  Training is going well - I am strong as shit, full as shit and I feel my condition is actually really good considering my scale weight is 216 pounds.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Typically, by this time of the week I am baselined or damn close but I was at a baseline of 203.5 a few weeks ago and I clearly am nowhere near close to that right now.

Logically, I can see my condition and know it is probably the best it has been during this entire prep.  Still, I am so far from a scale weight that I need to be that it concerns me.  Sure, "scale weight doesn't matter, blah, blah, blah ... " - yes it does.  I am slightly over TRT dosing so it isn't like I have all of a sudden gained a ton of muscle.  That means that I am either still holding a ton of water from last week's issue, simply full as hell from filling out for 5 days of eating last week or I have gained body fat that I have myself convinced is not body fat.

Now, I am not one to not see things for what they are so if I have gained body fat it damn sure is minimal.  In fact, it is highly unlikely considering I was using a powerful fat burner while not being able to eat most of last week so logically I am leaner and just full as hell because of filling out and eating a lot the end of last week.

The pumps certainly say that and so does the visual - I am veiny, full and tight as hell.  I just would feel better if the scale weight continues to fall and I would imagine that it will.  We shall see.

The other issue that is on my brain is I just feel tired - like my heart is tired.  I do fine for the first part of a workout but then the second half I start to feel lethargic and pretty tired/exhausted - more than I think I should.  Admittedly, though, that could simply be because I didn't train at all or do cardio last week and then this week jumped back in with both feet doing 5 days of training and double cardio sessions again.  I am just trying to be smart and careful so that if my heart is still tired, I am not pushing it too hard.  I actually skipped cardio today so that I can have more energy for legs tonight and be a little cautious.

The weights feel light - strongest I have been this entire prep.  I am skin-splittingly full and have not looked this good in a while but I do need to get leaner, too.  Everything points to  an improved condition but I still struggle with the higher scale weight.  I am not going to overthink it too much because it likely will just continue to fall as the week progresses and not be an issue, at all.  Still, 13 or 14 pounds over my lowest weight does make me scratch my head a little bit.

I will keep plugging away.  I leave for Michigan on Saturday and will be there for a week of training, cardio, etc., and filming for the DVD, etc..  It should be fun and I look forward to a chill Saturday and Sunday of driving and then seeing my parents on Sunday.  I have no idea whether I will load Sunday a little, a lot or not at all.  I am just going to go by my condition, whether I am depleted by then, etc.. 

I have just under 6 and 8 weeks for my shows and feel there is plenty of time to show up in insane condition.  I just want to feel better as far as not feeling so lethargic and that will set my mind more at ease.