Full Disclosure:
It has been a rough year.  I don't want to sound like a whiner, but I am not in a good place with training and goals at this point.  

You might not be able to relate - I get it.  Problem is, I have done this for a long time and there are few things I haven't done - very few approaches I haven't used (if any), very few dieting methods I haven't used (if any) and being on TRT these days, I can get into good shape but I am not going to look any bigger than I have ever been before in my life.  This is causing my motivation to waiver, quite a bit.  If you can't relate, put in 30+ years doing this and then come back and we can talk.

I have dealt with a lot of obstacles this year and just this last week dealt with yet another one - angioedema from Lisinopril that scared the shit out of me for a few days.  During that time, I had little to do other than sleep and think.  My thinking took me to the point that I know I need to do something different to stay motivated and to give my training and dieting meaning.  Yes, I love to be in great shape all of the time but these days this takes a LOT more effort from diet and cardio than it did in years past so basically "prepping" all year - though I prefer this structure to off season training/dieting - wears on you after a while.  I have a few ideas ....

Thing is, I am not completely set on what exactly I want to do just yet so I am not going to say just yet.  🙂  I know, it sounds like a teaser, but it really isn't.  I just don't want to say what it is because it will be quite surprising and is a completely different direction that could give me a completely knew focus and fuel my motivation.  If I say what it is and either change my mind or can't lock into it 100%, I will look like a flake.  So, I am going to continue to mull it over and when I do lock it in - whether in a week or two or a month or two - I will be sure to announce it.

Right now, all I will say is I am pretty desperate to do something new and different and really challenge myself and when I say "challenge myself", I mean something that would be very difficult to do (successfully).  This would provide the motivation and complete overhaul to my training (primarily), and diet (to some degree).  Even if I go this route, I will see it through but still might find that I want to come back to the training and dieting that I have grown accustomed to for years, if not decades.  Why?  Because even though it would be motivating and challenging, I might just suck at and it fail miserably.  Who knows?  Not me - at least not yet. And that is motivating to me.

If I were still stomping on the gas, I would just continue down the road that I have always traveled, but I am not.  And don't think that it isn't tempting to just stomp on the gas again because it most definitely is.  I have said time and again to myself that after giving my body a break for the last 5 (almost 5) years, I could probably not only get away with it for a while without a huge risk, but I would probably grow quite well after the 5 year "rest" period, too.  I just can't bring myself to take those risks, anymore.  You can, but I won't.

I will not be training this week - that is for sure.   I am resting and regrouping (again) after yet another obstacle and making sure that I am healthy and 100% (again) before going back next Monday.  This time will also allow me to make sure that I am invested in 100% in this next move before I commit.

Again, not trying to tease as much as I am wanting to make sure that with my head all over the place the last few months since having to pull out of my shows, that I make a decision and can commit 100% as I move forward.