Those that know me well (or personally), know that I have trained with my wife for quite a few years now. Well, when I say "for quite a few years" I need to clarify that those years were not consistent the large majority of the time. Yes, we have trained together for a long time, but there have always been weeks and months where she doesn't go to the gym.
I have tolerated this for years simply because this training thing just isn't in her blood - and I have known that from the beginning. She almost does it out of obligation more than actually liking it. She would much prefer to not be at the gym, drinking and eating whatever she wants. Of course, if you ask her, she will say otherwise, but likely because she doesn't want me to hear her say it (though I have known this for a long time). How you can move to Florida and want to go to the beach and not be in shape is beyond me.
The last year or so has been quite a challenge and I have tried to tell her not to go to the gym. As almost any woman does when her husband tells her something, she then must insist on doing the opposite so ... she kept going ... sporadically.
During the last year, there have been months of not going to the gym, most notably from roughly the end of October to ... well, pretty much this last month or so. First, it was vacation and then it was getting ready for the Holidays and then, of course, our pending move and sale of the house - mind you, I had trained through everything, as usual. In her defense, no, she is not like me and doesn't have the passion for training and being in shape like I do.
Just about the time I had written her off as far as training, she gets back in the gym about a month or so ago and STARTED to go consistently. I cook her food every night and make my daughter's lunch for the next day, religiously, so that this endeavor can be a little bit easier on her. Imagine how frustrating it can get when you are tired and ready to go to bed, but remember that you need to make your wife's food for the next day. To make matters worse, you make the food and then it gets left in the fridge or on occasion when it is taken, you know better that she had one of her employees pick her up something for lunch. Don't ask how I know, I have my ways. lol
To make a long story, longer, she is working late almost every night and doesn't have the time to go to the gym, yet again. Because I am now in prep mode, I have no tolerance for this and, if I am being honest, I train better without her than I do when she is there - probably because there is no consistency, anymore, and there hasn't been for a long time. I train much quicker and I don't have to deal with her dragging ass and complaining about work on the way to the gym. I am also on my own timeline and can leave whenever I want and get back when I want. I don't feel rushed or that I am putting her out when I have to stay longer to stretch or do cardio.
You might ask why I am not happy about her not wanting to train now and I would say that I am happy - happy that I can train by myself and have no distractions. However, she isn't going to get into good shape without the gym so there's that. There is also the fact that I like to get video and pictures at the gym (especially when prepping) to help post consistent content on social media and even pics for my logs here at EliteFTS. I now have to rig a selfie-holder-thingy, set it up and do my own video and pics. Yay me.
Now, it will be nice not having to cook her food every night and I am certain she will have much more fun doing whatever it is she is going to do instead of being at the gym. Hopefully, that will help in the long run.
Training with your spouse usually doesn't work very well because of conflicting schedules, inconsistency on the part of one person and causes tension most times in a relationship. My mistake was holding on the last couple of years thinking it would eventually go back to how it was when we trained together almost 10 years ago when she competed and she trained her ass off and actually enjoyed it. Truth is, times have changes ... at least for her. It happens. I am tired of being pissed at her for not being in shape and pissed at her for not wanting to train and diet. It's just time to move on.
Now, if you ask her, she only missed a workout and meal here or there, but I wouldn't be blogging about this if this were true. People change and you can either fight it or finally decide that it isn't worth it. I have done the latter. How will I do with her not being shape? I honestly don't know because that is an issue for me, admittedly, as well. Still, it just is what it is so I either need to get over it and accept it or let it continue to be an issue and cause problems. It is probably good timing because at least being in prep I can focus on me and my training and not focus on what she isn't doing.
I understand some of you are thinking, "I train with my swolemate" or some other bullshit like that. Give it time, it won't always be that great and it won't always work like it is now. I have been married for 25 years and we trained together (on and off) for about 12 years (05-17). When you get to that level in your relationship I will listen to your opinion. One or two or even three years is nothing to someone who has done it 10 times over. Sorry.
Throughout our 27 years together (25 married), we have had most of that time where we are almost always on the same page - riding motorcycles, baseball, shooting, friends and training, etc.. This is the first time in a while we are not on the same page, but I also understand that we have been fortunate to go so long being on the same page. It doesn't happen very often as most people don't have as much in common and enjoy doing the same things together that we do.
So, I will simply gear down and move forward on my own. It is what it is.