The last several months, everyone has had an opinion and nobody has had any active advice on how to make real progress. I have not FELT like I've had much to post about here in my Coaching Log because I am a Coach of Action and I have not been able to be nearly as ACTIVE as I'd like to be.

I'd like to think that most people, by now, know that I've got some serious issues with my back. I do. I really do. I went to see my General Physician (took me a couple weeks) who wrote me a referral to go see an Orthopedic (took me weeks) who gave me consultation (did not make any physical contact with me) and told me to schedule an MRI (which took weeks to get) and then took me a couple weeks to see the Orthopedic again to get them read to me.

Every disc on the entire MRI was at best herniated. The results read BAD. Degenerative Disc Disease, spinal fluid this and that, osteocyte bone spurs, stenosis, and just a ton of stuff that makes no sense to me. Long story short, the Doctor suggested that I let him operate on me as soon as possible. "Major Back Surgery" as he put it. As much of my spine as I'd let him operate on. After the initial shock and totally tuning him out I tuned back in and asked "Well, if I have the surgery, will I be able to come back to training?" His answer was a clear "No, you won't be training again. Maybe not any sports. Maybe not even a bicycle."

So what is the point of the surgery? I asked and he made a referral for me to see my Physiotherapists, which I was freaking excited about. I had to wait a couple weeks just to see them but that was a couple weeks of me being excited because I knew that they would have ideas to get me moving again. I show up to the appointment and all three therapists meet me in the front lobby and start explaining to me that they can't do anything for me. Even after I asked them to just TRY ANYTHING they refused because they were afraid they would make me worse.

So then I waited another two or three weeks to see a Neurologists (the earliest appointment approved by my insurance was 6 months away) and I went in and she asked me to take my shoes and socks off and walk across the room. I barely could. She did some tests on my legs and felt that I had significant damage and that surgery was my only option. She just kept going down the list of this and that and how I was done training in my life and my wife started crying and all I can think about was that not a single Health Professional could care less about My Chief Complaints!

  1. I cannot walk correctly. I cannot walk correctly because my feet and a lot of my legs are numb.
  2. I cannot make progress in the gym because I cannot train maximally.

I never mentioned pain. I never mentioned having an 800 lb deadlift again. Never did I mention HOW MUCH weight I wanted to pick up and carry...just that I wanted to TRAIN! HELP ME WALK!

Now, I have no options and no place to go.

Seven days per week I wake up with the most positive attitude that I can. I hit depression and deep sadness at least once per day but I have not had a day in months where I have not done SOMETHING! Stretch, smash, calf raises, attempting to wiggle my toes, bands this and that, ice, heat, TENS, e-stim, sled walking, reverse hypers, hanging upside down via bands, every therapy exercise that I can find, etc...

In fact, the next time I see some therapist or physician criticizing people searching for answers on Google or InstaGram, I'm just going to shake my head and laugh in their face. When they can give me some ACTION answers then I'm all ears. Quitting isn't an option. Giving up isn't an option. I may be watching YouTube, searching Google, and thumbing through InstaGram for answers but at least they are answers.

Tomorrow is another day and I'll be smarter because of it. This thing may get me yet but it will not be for a lack of trying in every single fashion possible.

Now, back to my SEARCH function...