A couple days ago, I put up a post on Facebook with a link to an article I wrote about building a nice set of shoulders. (and a weekend retreat FULL of good strength stuff!) Attached to the article was this pic....

julia shoulders

 

Sure, the pic was meant to be enticing to get you to read the article. Then, someone made one not so nice comment about how "manly" I looked and what ensued was an onslaught of words back at this woman for saying such "rude and mean" things.

I thought long and hard about what she said and what others said in return.  I told my best friend I didn't need the "back up" to defend me, although we both agreed that it is nice to hear those things from time to time.

But you know what I realized? There was something so much more to what was going on. We could analyze why the mean comments were made (jealousy, anger, laziness, etc), but even deeper than that, I realized something very important.

Thank God I have the confidence to not be bothered by the mean comments.

Thank God I have the confidence to see beyond someone else's opinion. 

Thank God I have grown beyond worrying about what others think.

Thank God I see myself as more than just a look, or a shape, or a weight.

Thank God I am a strong woman, unphased by words of a stranger.

I am beyond grateful that I've grown into that woman, because several years ago, I may have been bothered by this.  I am so grateful... yet so sad.  Because so many women don't have the confidence.  So many women aren't strong enough to see past the comments.

Maybe it's a simple confidence or insecurity issue.  Perhaps it's because they are abused, or had a childhood filled with hateful words. Or for whatever psychological reason it burns them down to their soul. And sometimes those words, a couple cruel words, can drive them over the edge. Into depression.  Into aggression.  Into cutting.  Into suicidal tendencies.  Into eating disorders.  Who knows.

And I'm talking about adults here.

Now let's relate this to children.The young girls (and even boys) in your community that will grow up to try  to be a teacher or a police officer or a doctor. I can speak from experience in working with young kids who are struggling beyond belief to find who they are.  Most, if not all, haven't grown into their confidence.  As much as we teach and love and show them, most won't find this inner strong woman (their Bella Forza) until well into their 20's or even their 30's.

I have friends who are raising young girls. And as their father, I know they want them to be strong, confident women. And yet as their dad, they may not understand what goes through her mind. They may not full realize how those hurtful bully words tear her little heart apart. And so they look for role models, in their spouses, in their friends and in the strong women around them.

Without getting into the discussion of freedom of speech and that woman being able to speak her mind freely (which she certainly can), I want you to think long and hard about what your words might do to someone. Instead of thinking "Well, I can say what I want.  They shouldn't post that kind of stuff if they don't want negative comments. They should have thicker skin and suck it up"..... stop and think, that maybe, just maybe your words could be a driving negative force in someone's life. Would you say it to their face? Would it say it to your sister?  Or niece?  Or neighbor? Or daughter?

Why not instead of driving one more negative thing into their head and pushing them further into an insecure hole, be a voice of positivity? For that person who gets negative verbal beatings (whether from self or from others) every day, why not be the one that gives them light, love and hope.  Or worst case... just don't say anything.  I see things on social media daily that might not be attractive to me, or things I disagree with and you know what......

I just keep my mouth shut.

This moment made me so grateful for the woman I've become.  It wasn't an easy road, but all the bumps and twists and turns have given me strength and courage and confidence.  To see a negative comment and actually smile, because I'm happy about who I am .... that is true Bella Forza. (beautiful strength)

And I can only hope to bring that to other women and young girls around me.