I could also easily title this "How to shoot yourself in the foot and wonder why you can't run" but that might be too direct.

Recently I made the mistake of reading some posts on a Facebook group that I rarely visit. The name of the exact group escapes me but it would have been one that had a title like "The Hardgainer's Hangout" or "What Would Jim Wendler REALLY Do" or maybe it was the one called "Outlaws and Outcasts of The Gym". I didn't spend long there, just long enough to see that it was basically a place for people to come and blame all of their failures in the gym on anything other than themselves.

It didn't take long for me to learn a lot by just being there, so let me share with you a short list of observations as to exactly why you just might suck at lifting...

So here goes...

1) Never warm up. Warming up is for losers.

2) Spend 12 hours a day surfing the web, reading "articles" posted by people who are internet famous while "trying to find your ultimate program". Trying to "find your ultimate program" can be exhausting, so don't make the mistake and do any actual real work, you need a rest!

3) Find only fault in the lifts of others... especially highly credited, record holding lifters. You can't learn anything from those genetic freak drugged up sellouts anyway.

4) Avoid training with lifters who are better than you are at all costs. Sometimes this means changing your entire training programming around and it throws you right back to "Number 2".

5) If you are forced to lift with highly skilled lifters, don't learn from them. Instead, spend all of your (and their) time giving them advice on how they should be lifting. Make sure and name drop someone with half of their numbers as a reference for greatness.

6) Only train and learn about one style of lifting. Insist for the rest of your life that everything else sucks. Once you have mastered this you can spend less than 12 hours per day researching the greatest method in The World and more time boasting about it on Facebook.

7) Convince yourself that you don't lift big because of some magical piece of gear that you can't afford, which, if you had it, would instantly transform you into Ed Coan.

8) Practice your lifts in front of a mirror or video camera. Not so you can watch your body positioning (which would actually help), but so you can work on your sneering, snarling, posing, and post lift celebration moves. This will also help get your Instagram followers into the double digits.

9) Find as much training, recovery, and nutritional materials as you possibly can but never, ever, attempt any of it.

10) Train the exact same way, never evolving, training block after training block. Never change your approach to absolutely anything even if you never seem to get any better. Again, back to that magical piece of equipment that you can't afford and those cheaters can!

11) Never have any patience with yourself. Rome may not have been built in a day but you've got the internet at your finger tips and you have no excuses! If you are not instantly successful, abandon all hope, swear and throw things around the room. Stop training immediately and spend a week feeling sorry for yourself. Also, blame that piece of gear that you can't afford. And The Cheaters!

12) Lay all of the responsibility for your progress on your coach. If you're not getting any stronger then it must be someone else's fault and what are you paying them for anyway?

13) If you're having trouble progressing with a certain lift, tighten your jaw, take another hit of ammonia, and simply just "try harder". Didn't work? Tighten your jaw even tighter, take a longer hit and "try even harder". Still? Well... keep that up and let me know how it goes. Forgot about that piece of magical equipment you don't have yet?

14) Convince yourself that great lifters became great on talent alone... and if you just don't have it, you just don't have it.

15) Believe that you are special and fully entitled to greatness. The people at the top don't deserve it any more than you do, they just got lucky and you got robbed. Also...that piece of equipment you can't afford. And The Cheaters.

16) Simply...QUIT.