It's no secret that women have been fighting for their place in various industries for some time.  Whether it be the medical field, entrepreneurship, sports or government.  I can only speak on the issues I know of and have seen first hand.

I was hired in 2002 at the University at Buffalo as an assistant strength coach.  Thankfully at that time, we had a female athletic director, Nan Harvey, who took great pride in finding qualified women in athletics. Nan hired me and I was proud (and scared) to be one of the first (and probably youngest at the age of 21) female strength coaches at the Division I level.

Since then I've watched countless women move into roles that were once dominated by men.  Strength coaches, MLB hitting coaches, NFL refs and more.  I smile and tear up every time I read a good story of another female breaking ceilings.

However, sadly, we are still fighting the criticism. Probably now more than ever with the keyboard warriors and social media.  Recently, two women were the first to be a mother-daughter pilot team on a commercial flight... only to be met with comments like, "Shouldn't they be home making their husbands sandwiches?" and "I'm definitely not getting on that flight."

 

Last week, a female kicker joined Vanderbilt on the field as the first female kicker in a Power Five football game.  Sadly, so many rude comments and not as many "Wow! What a feat!  Congratulations!"

Now, before I lose you thinking that I'm just a girl wanting girls to get attention.  That's far from it.  I believe that women (or anyone for that matter) should be qualified for the position they want.  If you have two men applying for a position and one is more qualified, hire him.   If they are equally as qualified, but you see more drive, potential, team work and work ethic in one over the other, hire that one.  You should have actual reasons for hiring who you hire.

Because of that, a woman shouldn't be passed up just because she's a woman.  If she is more qualified, I would hope she'd be given a chance.  We've been seeing more and more women doing amazing things once given the opportunity.  Things are getting better for women these days, but what I'm really here to talk about is what we say when a woman does do something amazing... or frankly is just living her life, doing her thing, but receives harsh criticism.

I won't spout all the comments, but if you're interested in going down a rabbit hole of keyboard warriors, check out Jessica Githen's page on Instagram @you.look.like.a.man.  What started out as a place for her to show nasty (and sometimes abusive) comments about her Strongman training has turned into her showing the world that people are just downright nasty for no reason.

"Well, if someone puts something out there on social media, they should be prepared to take criticism."

On what account? Because some random person doesn't like they way they look/lift/parent/walk/dress?

"Well, they need to have thicker skin.  It's just words from a random person... don't take it so seriously."

True... and most of these women receive so many yucky comments that they have grown thicker skin and don't take these comments to heart.  In fact, I wrote about this years ago when someone commented on my arms being too big for a girl.

"That's gross... women shouldn't have muscles like that." I said, "Thankfully, I have enough confidence in myself to let the comment slide... but there are some women and young girls who aren't there yet, and those comments could be very damaging."

I think the point here is being more aware of our words to others.  If something doesn't affect your life (the way a random female squats or how she wears her hair in the gym), just let it be.  And no, these aren't helpful form comments (although most women don't need those either), these are true, nasty, degrading comments, some even telling women they will be hunted down and r@ped.

Un-freaking-acceptable.  Imagine if we all were nicer to each other.  Imagine if we kept those nasty comments to ourselves. Imagine if we all did our part and encouraged others to do the same.  I don't think people realize that passing on kindness to others often changes your life just as much, if not more.

I also finished reading a book called "Permission to Feel" by Marc Brackett.  As I was reading this book, I couldn't help but think about those people who make nasty comments and how much they must truly be hurting inside.  Oftentimes our outbursts stem from what's happening within.

Go check out @you.look.like.a.man's stories.  The majority of you reading this, I hope, don't make nasty comments to random women (or anyone for that matter) on social media. Those who need to hear this message probably won't read this.  And even reading this probably won't change their mind.  But every step is a step in the right direction.  It's a step to bringing more kindness to others.

Or at least keeping your mouth shut when you have nothing kind to say.

Have you seen these things happen on social media?  Besides ignoring comments, what else can be done?  Can we ever truly change this behavior in others?