I had stepped on stage just 11 days prior. It was a great show, despite lack of competition in my class. I had brought by far the biggest package I ever had on stage... all while being harder, having more detail and balance as well as overall presentation. A long, but really good off-season, proved to be successful.

At first we (when I say that, I'm typically talking about Scott Paltos and I... Scott did all my off-season programming for both PL and physique) had talked about just dieting another 2 weeks after the show to experiment with a few things to see if we could get my legs harder.  Granted, they were still the best they had been but definitely not where we wanted them.

Instead, I found a local show 2 weeks later that would be a perfect gig to try out our little experiment. After a week, I was exactly where I needed to be.  (Ok, maybe not exactly, because we both know my legs still need to be harder... BUT exactly where we knew we could get them in just a few short days.)

We did all kinds of magical things from 7 to 3 days out... and when I say magical, I mean craaaaaaaaaazy stuff (#sarcasm). Yeah, we pretty much broke all the bodybuilding rules and didn't deplete, didn't water load, didn't stop training... every day I was waking up looking like I could step on stage. And since this show was in experiment mode already.... what the hey.

Thursday I did a full upper training with some hammie curls and even got in a few intervals with some walking. Carbs were about 125 and everything was awesome (go ahead, sing that in tune to the Lego Movie song).  It was a normal day until 6:00pm when we were just about to head home for the night and rest up. He was monkeying around on a chin-up bar, like he has since he's been 3. As he was coming down, I think he sorta fell or tried to catch himself with his hand/arm and snapped his humerus. And when I say snapped, I mean snapped.


He stood up, didn't cry, but in the most scared voice said, "Mom???"

And from there it was go-mode. We rushed to the ER where we got x-rays and within 2 hours were told he would need to be transported to a pediatric ortho 2.5 hours away. There was NO WAY I was leaving my kid....

Ok, ok, I won't lie.... before I knew how serious it was (thinking maybe it was just a dislocation or a small fracture), I thought maybe I could still make my Friday afternoon tanning appointment.  And maybe still get him off to his dad's for the weekend. And maybe still step on stage Saturday morning. I was definitely going to be there for him, but maybe the circumstances would still allow me to bring this crazy package before the judges.

But once they said he was being transported, I began the onslaught of texts.  I had told Scott earlier what happened because at this point, I was checking in morning and night to make sure we were on the same page with food, water, etc. So he knew what was going on and I hated the fact that I might have to bring up the elephant in the room.

"Scott, I can't do the show."
"Not even worried about the show. Take care of your son."

Texted my tanning girl....
"Hey, can't make my 4:00 appt, and won't be doing the show."

Texted my make-up girls....
"So sorry for the late notice, but ... can't do the show."

Things were so frantic at this point that I didn't really know how I felt about it yet. My kids are THE MOST important thing so it was a no-brainer to be with my son..... and yet every once in awhile my mind would flip to "CRAP!!!  I was so close to being on stage with the package I wanted to bring."

We arrived at the other hospital at 1:30 am. Oh, and the cool part?? Since I wasn't doing the show and had nothing on me as I was 2.5 hours from home (no clothes, no toiletries and certainly no food), my first "off-diet" food was a Clif bar that night.  Second off-diet meal?  Hospital food for lunch the next day. Not exactly how you imagine going out. 😉

All went well. He was a trooper getting 3 temporary pins in and a big ol cast. We trekked home at about 8pm Friday night when we both passed out from exhaustion.

Now.... it's Monday evening. No, I didn't go all "hardcore" and step on stage because I "rise and grind" e'ry day. (omg, I sound like an idiot.) And no, I haven't been to the gym since Thursday morning.  I'm still alive... antsy to be more active for sure, but I also want to be and need to be here for my kid.  Yes, like most parents, I'd drop anything to make sure they are ok, safe, loved and well taken care of.

I'd be lying if I didn't say, though, that I was a little sad. No, not upset at the accident or mad that I had to be with him (I made that choice and wouldn't change a thing). But once in awhile, just sad. I was so close to having it right. So close to bringing it all together. So close in seeing if our little experiment was gonna work.  I watched a few of my friends step on stage that day and as I watched pics and updates.... yes, it was tough to see.

I also saw the competitors from my show. A video was posted with the pre-judging comparisons.  Now I'm not one to typically have an ego or get big headed about my competitions, but man, I could've came away with a great placing. Haha. Another chance for me to bring a good package, be in front of judges, practice my presentation and routine.

It's a tough thing to explain.  I wouldn't miss a moment with my son. That was necessary for me and him both.  I guess it's like when you're at work, you're thinking about being at home. And when you're at home, you're thinking about being at work. Or any two opposing life situations.

We'll never know exactly what Saturday would've brought.  We have a pretty good idea so when it's time to blow up the stage for Nationals next year, we know what to do.

(I would be remiss if I didn't mention those that helped get me through the weekend... my parents for helping, my friend for being a last-minute dog walker, my coach for being supportive and understanding, my friends for just being there and checking in regularly, friends, clients and family who sent gifts for him. It's amazing that when something like this happens, who rallies around you.)

Thank God he's doing much better. Everything is going smoothly so far and we've had some one-on-one time.  Being in a small situation like those though.... props to those parents who take care of a child (disabled, injured, etc) full-time.  It's tough. And since we're being honest, I can honestly admit that I also need my time (which just happens to be training). It helps me settle, get out pent-up energy, do what I love and yes, all of that culminates into helping me be a better, patient, and more loving parent.  New moms always ask me the best piece of advice when having a newborn.... and I continue to say, "Find a sitter. Get out. Find time for and take care of yourself."

Now.... to see if I can sneak in a quick training session. 😉