Stress. Dear Lord. Stress.
It is currently 3:31 AM late Monday night, early Tuesday morning.
From 8-9 PM I loaded Atlas Stones outside in my driveway with Danii and Lily. From 9-10 I hung out with my little dude outside in the driveway dancing to Thomas The Tank Engine songs on Spotify. 11-12 he was in the bath and just about midnight thirty he told me "goodnight" and gave me the thumbs up sign that I could leave him in the bedroom.
And then I came downstairs and have worked till this point. The house is quiet, I swept the floor, cleaned "a little" but not too much, and this is my time to unwind.
If I go back over a week ago I can see where things all started to spiral downwards. Heck, maybe 2 weeks ago. When you train like we do (yes, I mean you too) it is hard and mentally challenging. Every training session has a goal that needs to be achieved so we can be a success. Recovery is hard work. Sleep is hard work. Food is hard work. Work is hard work (I'll get into that in a minute). And I know that you are also like me and you put hard work into family too. Training, and life, has been stressful.
We are still, primarily, "locked down". You can not leave your house without permission and you can only leave twice per day. You can get away with more if you have a special needs child which I've tried not to take advantage of much BUT my son (sons) need to get out of the house every day. My youngest is Autistic and he needs experience seeing people and things and being inside a house is very dangerous to his health...and to our house as well. The amount of damage that he can, and does do to a house, is amazing. Every night I try to use one of our "permissions" to take the boys to a little store, a kiosk, a periptero as it would be called. We pick up a can of their favorite drink, one place has buy 1 get 1 ice creams, we can pick up milk, and my youngest can pick out a toy. Him not getting the 1,000 piece puzzle of Big Ben ended with him laying in the store floor all because I thought a 1,000 piece puzzle was just "too much" for a 4 year old...but what do I know?
I've found some stores that sell fire works so about every 2-3 nights we have went outside and shot fireworks. My oldest (now 13) loves handling them and the torch to light them and my youngest loves to be a part of anything wild (yet he isn't too excited about the loud noises...yet he can't NOT hear them either). Grand Dad came over and hung out with us outside for Luke's 5th birthday fireworks and I'm not sure who enjoyed it more...HIM OR ME!!!
But I let it all get to me.
Work has not been this stressful in maybe 7-8 years. It isn't that I have too many clients, I don't. It isn't that my clients are being demanding, THEY AREN'T!
It is that I have a group of clients right now and each and every one of them are on the edge of doing something AMAZING and I'm either going to be a huge part of their success or a huge part of their failure! So many opportunities for them with their training and I simply have to make the right calls, the right decisions, and get it all across to them in the right way...RIGHT NOW or they may very well miss out on the opportunities of greatness! That has kept me awake a night and stressed through my day probably like nothing else.
Last Wednesday I went into the Squat session with a huge plan. My heaviest set of squats for the day was a set of 10...and on rep 2 I started cramping through my right hip flexor. I made it through all 10 reps (in gear) and then it hit me that my body is just about to shut down. It IS going to shut down and I have the choice to either shut it down myself or it will shut me down very soon. So I did nothing else but talk and help others the rest of the session.
Then I took off Thursday. Then Friday. Then Saturday. Then I slept all of Sunday (Log and Bench Day) and that brings me to today...Monday.
I woke up and I didn't feel great. My wife was in a meeting, my son had classes online, my youngest woke me up when he woke up and we came downstairs together. I put some fish, potatoes, and carrots to cook and when they were cooking my wife came in the kitchen and I swear she must have just seen it in my face that I was "down". Her voice changed and she said..."Why don't you cut up one of those meat things you have in the refrigerator?".
See, lately I've been buying meat in bulk cuts as well as the small cuts that I normally buy because they last longer. I had the plan of cutting them when I was ready, I had a little money, and they are cheaper to buy the whole cut than to buy it in pieces...you just have to cut it yourself and buy in larger amounts at on time. So I put my cutting board on the table and began opening up this amazing looking Ribeye! Argentina here I come! I sat there with a cutting knife on the cutting board and for about 5 minutes I was totally alone, a very similar feeling as to what you get when you are doing a really big hard set in the gym...nothing exists except you and sometimes the best part is that you don't even feel like YOU EXIST EITHER!
With each slice I felt better and better. I cut this beautiful piece of meat into thin cut ribeyes and I just looked at it for a while. Totally changed my day! That one little thing, the part of ME getting to be ME for a few minutes early in my day, changed everything! The little things that I like doing have the greatest impact on my mental outlook. Now, I'm sure that I could flip this around into something like how you need to pay attention to the little details in your training program and lifestyle because they could be what gives you the greatest rewards towards your goals...OR if you pay attention to your programming you may find that you can have fun and progress at the same time (huge game changer and one of the two things I'm known for as a coach) but I'll just say that I highly encourage you to find something little that is fun and makes you happy...and do it often.
And after a ribeye for lunch, a burger for a snack 2 hours later, and a post training ribeye...I have determined that I like thin cut steaks and thick cut women!
So I had another steak an hour ago and may have one more before bed where I'll joint my thick cut woman in bed.
To "The Little Things That Matter"