One day at a time. Step by step. Day by day. Inch by inch. Easy does it.

It’s all bullshit. You know that, right? That isn’t any way to quit! Nobody quits “one day at a time.” Quitting doesn’t happen that way.

Have you ever dumped a girl to get on with your life? Felt pretty good, right? And you were done with her after that (or you should have been). Have you ever dumped a douche bag friend, quit a frat, quit a club, or quit a hobby or particular sport that you really hated?

I quit the wrestling team in high school. I liked wrestling and was pretty good at it, too. I had been a team leader since junior high. The problem came about when our high school coach hired a couple of his old protégés as assistant coaches. These tools had gone off to college and did whatever, so now they were these super studs who could do no wrong.

Well, one particular super stud decided it was his job to punish me for whatever reason…maybe because we were in the same weight class…who knows? He was a dick to me for weeks. He truly enjoyed tormenting me. He was constantly on me, calling me names, pushing me around, making an example out of me at every practice—the whole “tough guy” thing. But I took his crap because winning on the mat and contributing to my team meant more to me than all his bullshit, tough guy hassle.

Then one day, he and I were working out of the referee’s position (me crouched on all fours with him wrapped around me). Right before we got the whistle, this punk whispered some vile crap in my ear. That was it. I was done. I spun around and proceeded to beat the living daylights out of him. I wasn’t wrestling—not anymore.

When I finished, I calmly walked out of that dark and dirty, sweaty dungeon, handing my headgear to my slack-jawed coach on the way out. I quit right then and there and I never went back. Quitting felt good and it was easy.

See, quitting always feels good and it’s always easy. You never quit something that you love. You only quit something you despise. Think about it. Have you ever quit anything you loved? Of course not. That isn’t quitting. When you stop doing something you love, it’s called sacrifice. Quitting is easy—sacrifice is hard. There is a huge difference between the two.

If you stop an activity or sport you love, it’s a sacrifice. You come to realize that if you don’t stop doing this thing you love, someone is going to suffer—your team, your family, the sport. Something will be worse off and you would be selfish to continue. You make a huge sacrifice for the benefit of others. See the difference? That isn’t quitting. That’s real sacrifice. No matter how you reconcile the sacrifice, it will always be with you in a deep and meaningful way.

So why do I tell you all this? What is my point? It’s simple really.

If there’s an addiction in your life, something that’s dragging you down, wasting your time, and draining your energy, you have to figure out how to hate it. Otherwise, it will always control you. Oh, you’ll be able to put it aside “step by step” and “one day at a time” for a little while. But this “thing” will come creeping right back into your life. And it will always come back. Maybe next week, next month, in two years, five years, or even ten years down the road. Sooner or later, it will be back, and you will be all fucked up again. Trust me. You will never truly beat your addiction until you hate it.

Hate your addictions. Hate those activities that steal your time and waste your energy. Do whatever it takes to hate that which you love for all the wrong reasons. Hate your addictions and you will succeed. Quit your addictions…and you will fail.