1961lbs at 220lbs BW and Big Swinging

Achieved the 10th highest all time total at 220lbs over the weekend. It was a mixed bag of a day, but when is it not. Went 5/8 on the day.

Squats were feeling fantastic and I smoked my opener of 733lbs. I then went to 771 and while it was heavier, it still moved as if I had a great deal more in the tank. I made the call for 804 and had no doubt I'd miss. However on walkout I made a mistake and took too far of a step back with my right foot and had to rotate my torso to compensate which stressed out my SI severely. I don't know if that's why I necessarily missed but, I was not strong enough on the day to stand up with 804. I will be next time.

Bench was okay as I had been still dealing with dorsalscapular nerve compression and hand numbness. 463 moved well as an opener but I knew it was going to be a rought day based on my inability to feel my left hand. I called for 490 in my second and BARELY grinded it out. I scratched my 3rd as I knew there was no way another attempt would be there.

Deadlift is always nerve wracking for me due to my grip issues stemming from the nerve compression. I considered lowering my opener but said fuck it and stuck with 700. I smoked it and felt fatigued BUT my grip felt good. Then on 744 as per usual my hands popped open twice and I missed my last two.

It's a conundrum and it's maddening as I've tried close to everything. No barbell on my back for 3 months after this and we will see.

NOW. I have something to say because I'm fucking embarrased.

If you choose to compete at any other event besides a USPA competition, an RPS Iron Mafia Meet, or one of the large invitationals held by the weirdo fucking mono feds that keep living and dying like house flies; I will assume you are a coward until proven otherwise. I compete in a fed with rules. I am proud of my lifting. I follow rulebooks and I abide by them, even when I do not think that they are the most advantageous for me! I had to wear non elitefts shit. I had to not tape my thumbs. And you know what? I still got the 10th highest total of all time REGARDLESS of fed. Because it doesn't fucking matter and I'll show out wherever I show up.

Skirting rules is all well and good in the gym. I am even proud of my own bullshit like strapped deadlifts, hitchy looking shit, highish squats and other buffoonery. BUT if you're a sponsored ATHLETE what is the operative word there? Definitely not sponsored cuz last I checked I'm buying my own plane tickets. It's ATHLETE. If you are an athlete, you follow rules, and if we all can see that you don't and you don't care. And if you're okay with that, great? But it's not a SPORT then, it's a circus, and it shits on the legitimacy of everything I believe in and it PISSES me off. I am called arrogant. I'm called an asshole. I'm called a sell out. And so what if I am. It's fucking worth it to be one. At least it is to me.

Go to real meets. Be real athletes. Or take the fucking word out of your fucking vocabulary.

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