So, this is the first meet I've done in over a year - I decided since I still cannot train 100% that I would start out with just bench only and build from there.  This meet was really different for me in a lot of aspects.

1. I have never done bench only
2. I've never not cut to make weight
3. I've never not felt pressured to be the absolute best

This meet was SO relaxing for me, which was a nice change of pace.  I'm usually miserable from cutting weight, hungry, low energy, anxious, etc.  I was actually really relaxed, and my bestfriend Dana made the 2.5 hour drive with me the morning of.  She made me feel at ease all day, and of course like a true bestfriend, was talking shit in  my ear before every attempt.

I picked my opener and second attempt - also a foreign concept to me, as I've always had someone telling me what to do.  I chose 181, 203, and then I was going to do 215, before hearing Casey say I should just do 220, so I did that instead.  My third was actually pretty easy and I was very pleased with this.  I also completely changed my bench set up over the past year and I couldn't be happier with the tweaks I've made.  2 weeks ago I reinjured my back and I would say this time around the pain is just as bad, if not worse, than when I originally hurt it last year.  However, bench has not been bothering me at all, and for that, I'm grateful.

Overall I'm really pleased with a 220 bench, I've been training inconsistently for a year, not following any specific program and the only thing fueling my training is PB&J's (if you're picking up what I'm putting down) - this will hold true for the rest of my lifting days, as that ship has sailed.  Everyone has different views, but as someone who has been there, done that, I don't ever plan on going back.  I'm a very different lifter now than I used to be, and the change is evident.  I still want to be the best, but what I'm willing to sacrifice is less.

I move into my new apartment at the end of this month, which will place me in a better location to be able to get to the gym more frequently and should reduce my commute time considerably.  So, handling life changes for now, and then doing another bench only meet in December.  From that point I hope to build and be healthy enough to where I can return to full power in 2018. 🙂