I guess I should start out by letting you know a little bit about my training. I do and always have ascribed to the 5thSet Methodology. I only train 3 days a week, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. 5thSet runs on a 4 session microcycle over the course of 9 days, so every week is different. I have officially started my meet prep. My logs are starting in a really unique place, and i'm excited to share the 5thSet peaking cycle with all of you right off the bat. I'm currently getting ready to compete at the U.S Open in San Diego on April 23.

Disclosure: I am currently trained by Swede Burns and my program is tailored to my needs, in fact the only thing that has really changed over the years is the weights i'm using! He is compensated fully for his services, usually I cook and clean and do things he's too busy for, but don't worry some of these are billable services.

I really don't have much to say about this training session, probably why I've been putting it off a little bit.  Plus, I'm really just trying to relax and live life, all while embarking on this new adventure.  I will say this transition has been the hardest thing I have ever done.  I'm still not even sure what I've decided to do for this meet; it will be a last minute decision.  If I do decide to cut, it will be, without a doubt, the most challenging thing I've done in my entire powerlifting career to date.

This is just me, being real. I debated even writing this, because like anyone, I don't like for people to see when I'm weak.  I've had my struggles over the past two months, and even this morning, as I picked up an M&M I thought, WTF are you doing?  Why do I sabotage?  Why would I rather take the hard way than make it easy for myself?  Something inside of me must just legitimately like torture and making myself miserable.  I mean at a certain point I have to wonder what exactly makes me feel unworthy?  This whole dieting thing reminds me a lot of my education.  Weird, right?  I mean all throughout undergrad and grad school I waited until the last minute to write papers, study, uh, read the book?  I even paid hundreds of dollars to take my licensing exam and didn't touch a study guide until the day before.  Maybe I've just conditioned myself to perform the best under the absolute most pressure possible.  I have no idea.  Or maybe I just make excuses until I'm actually forced to wake up and stop pissing around.  I really can't even tell you.  Me and my relationship with food and dieting is still something I'm working on.  I've come a long way, though.  As in, after I compete, I'm confident in my abilities to not eat my way back up to 196...or higher, like I normally would.  I have to thank my diet coach for that.  I've actually learned to have a better relationship with food, yet here I am, throwing that away for the next two weeks as I cut my carbs, weigh in, and stuff my face to "bloat up."  The difficult part will be getting a handle on this, and I think I  can do it this time.  Or maybe I can't.  Maybe you've read my other log "The (Diet) Struggle is Real."  I'm in it for the long haul.  Forever learning about myself.  What works and what doesn't work, what mistakes do I keep making, how can I break the cycle?

Like I said, over the past two months I've built a relatively healthy relationship with food, I haven't binged, I've "cheated" minimally, and the self-loathing has decreased, hell even my obsession over the scale has subsided.  I'm about to cut carbs, push my body to it's breaking point, binge on a refeed, possibly compete in the same weight class with a lower total, etc.  I think you get how this is going to contradict everything I've been working towards in regards to diet.   This is the ultimate test, mentally, and I'm ready for whatever comes my way.  I keep searching for validation and reassurance from outside people, when in reality I'm the most important person.  If I don't believe in me, I can never make this happen.  It's now or never, it's go time.

Wide Grip Bench:

barx2x15, 65x15, 95x15, 115x12, 140x25, 140x20 - 3 more reps than last week, and way more fatigued...I'll take it!

Rolling Triceps:

30x3x15

Swede Burns Rear Delt Pull Aparts:

Pro mini band long x 3 x 30

Cable Extensions:

27.5 x 4 x 25