I don't think it would come as a surprise to most to hear me say I have kind of been down and out lately.  I decided to invest some time in myself and really just do things for me.  You know, be selfish.  Something I really have a hard time with, because the truth is I think I'm almost always trying to just do what pleases everyone else.  How is this going to affect xyz, what do they want, is this going to make this person mad, sad, etc. ?  Which is great and everything, but what happens when I rarely consider myself in situations?  AH, alas, here I am, unhappy, conflicted, and filled with anxiety every day.

Anyway, so part of the whole investing in myself and doing things that make me happy...I decided to travel to Buffalo, NY to watch my friend Nicole compete at her powerlifting meet.  She had come to me about a month ago and asked, and I realized I had signed up to be at the UGSS Seminar, so I told her I couldn't make it.  At the time, she also told me she was going alone.  I thought about that for about 2 weeks, and after my meet in California, I decided I needed to be there for her.  No one does this shit alone, you shouldn't have to.  I'm SO extremely happy I got to be there for her and watch her totally kill it on meet day.  The best part is, I actually learned a ton from her this past weekend.  She legitimately trusted the weight cut process from her nutrition coach, and it was cake.  She stretched out every night, and just actually followed protocol.  This sounds really dumb, I'm sure.  But I was incredibly impressed by her confidence in the weight cut, recomping, and how she handled herself on meet day, on and off the platform.  Sure, she had the normal anxiety and nervousness of meet day, but you know what else?  She didn't have her coach that has been prepping her, she had a friend handle her, and me for support.  Comparing my weekend in California, to hers in Buffalo, I seriously should've taken notes.  Not to mention, she's made a complete 180 since her last powerlifting meet.  I couldn't be more proud, and I'm grateful for the experience.  I think the main take away from this weekend is that you can learn things from everyone, beginner to elite.  And really, through basically word vomit on our way back to the hotel after weigh ins, I even came to some realizations about my own life and just trying to make sense of everything going on.  I needed this trip.  And the best part is, the entire time I was surrounded by genuinely good humans...I LOVE that.

I also took myself on a day date to Niagara Falls, which was fantastic. I spent some time with old friends and met some new ones. I'm so glad I made the trip.  Today I went and got my X-Ray read by my chiropractor.  The good news is that there isn't anything seriously wrong with my back.  The annoying news I guess is just that abouttttt 3-4 of my vertebrae are basically bone on bone, which explains the pain when lifting heavy, because of the compression and probably can mostly be attributed to gymnastics, mixed with a couple years of heavy lifting.  SO, right now I'm really just trying to develop some kind of plan, and then execute it.  I have a temporary plan, but as far as anything past that, I've got nothing.

For now, I'm going to get back into the gym regularly and lift without loading any weight on my spine, and do my bracing exercises, along with going to the chiropractor.  Also, I will continue to run on my off days.  I can't lie, I've started to slip as far as nutrition, so I'm finally getting back on track with that, little by little.