When I went to California in October I made a trip over to Sausalito.  There are tons of cool little shops and restaurants, and while on my walk through the little town I came across a shop that had sticks with carved quotes in them.  Some of the quotes or sayings were cliche, some from famous people, etc.  I picked out one that spoke to me that reads "Fall seven times, stand up eight."  Perhaps it's corny, I don't know, but at the time I was really going through some rough shit, and it spoke to me.  It sits on my dresser in front of my mirror, and for a while I was looking at it every day, and then somehow that came to a stop..though I'm not sure exactly when.  Anyway, I've had to remind myself these last couple of days not to be so hard on myself.

Last week I started my new job, and I have to admit that as the week went on and I got more overwhelmed, my eating kind of went to shit.  Not in that I was necessarily stuffing my face, just wasn't making good choices.  I also hadn't prepared at all.  I really find I do best when I at least have two planned meals with me throughout my day.  Also, calories have been reduced by 200, and I admit, going from 2300 to 2100 is actually a big difference and gives me much less wiggle room.  This is okay, I will adjust in time.  I think the biggest thing for me is just not being so hard on myself?  I struggle with this so much.  This morning I got on the scale and I was only up a lb, so it's not like I legitimately did damage, I just need to get on track again.  So, last night I prepped two meals and some breakfast and today I am back on track.

My friend reminded me Sunday night, in fact, that me maintaining right now and even having a handle on my diet is a huge accomplishment.  Pointing out that I haven't legitimately trained in 6 months, and I've still been holding it together despite not doing any physical activity....and she does make a really valid point.  Which brings me to the next thing, watching my body change and learning to be okay with it.  I notice the muscle tone is starting to fade away and I legitimately have no bicep....lol.  These are hard things for me to swallow.  To go from being on top of the world in 2015, to having my entire world come crashing down, literally in every facet of my life in 2016, and to now be in a season of rebuilding...is a lot to handle.   But, we get there, one day at a time.  I'm better today than I was yesterday, and I think sometimes all you can do is keep moving forward...just keep looking ahead.