First, I think I should apologize for the title of this log, but not really, because I had to come up with some kind of title.  I only say this, because I truly believe there is no such thing as a "'good" decision or the "right" choice, but I'll get into that in a second.

I've been faced with a challenge recently, as I head into the 6th month of not being able to lift, I have essentially, again, eliminated all lifting from my life.  I am allowed to bench technically, but why am I holding onto my bench anyway?  Everything else is going to suck, so why would I let it hinder progress right now?  Anyway, the challenge is just that, to be honest, I don't want to talk about my back anymore.  I don't want to talk about the back and forth or the nights I cry myself to sleep or the days I leave PT and sit in my car and cry out of frustration.  I don't want to talk about any of it, because it truly upsets me.  I don't want to walk you through my PT work or what the hell I'm doing, talk about how I'm weak, any of it.  I have really awesome days and really shitty days, but I don't want to publicly share that. Not now.  There is a time for that, but that time just isn't right now.

Instead of talking about those kinds of personal things in my logs, I've decided to just use the logs to educate.  These won't be directly related to lifting, but I assure you that you can relate it to this part of your life if you should choose.  I'm not a coach, and I won't be for a very long time, for I have MUCH to learn, so I can't really educate you all about lifting.  Perhaps, though, I can shed some light on some things I've been learning through personal experience and from a clinical perspective/ personal point of view.

Back to decisions.  Most of us are faced with difficult decisions at some point in our life, right?  I mean, yes, the answer to that is yes.  So, how do you even make a good decision or the "right" decision.  Well, there is no real answer to that quite honestly, because I believe there is no such thing.  I come to you with this, because I struggle SO much with decisions, I just might be the most indecisive person you've ever met in your entire life.  So, how in the hell do I make a decision about something that's important.  You know, something other than deciding what I want when I go out to eat (which seriously takes me about 10-15 min on average and causes me tons of anxiety).  Take a second to imagine what it's like for me to make a decision that is going to impact my life or my health...so you see where I run into problems, right?

A little over a month ago I had to make a pretty big decision.  The kind of decision that causes some kind of finality, and brings something to an end.  A chapter of sorts.  God, can you imagine the anxiety?  I know you can, because chances are you've encountered the same thing when making a rather important decision.  I just kept saying, well, I don't want to make the wrong decision and regret it.  Over and over again in my head, and I just couldn't get out.  So, enough of describing anxiety.   HOW DO YOU DO IT?

It's very simple:

1. Separate Emotion & Logic

- These are two very different things and so often we get caught up in our emotions.  Well, I feel xyz.  Example: "I absolutely love my co-workers, what if I hate my co-workers at my new job."  This is thinking based on emotion.  But when you sit down and look at all of the reasons why you should leave your job, it's logical and makes sense.  However, you stay because you're comfortable and you love the environment, even though you may thoroughly hate your job...or maybe you just need more money, etc.  You MUST be able to separate your emotions from facts in order to make a sound decision.  How hard for someone who is emotionally driven, seriously.

- I recommend, quite honestly, writing a pros and cons list for this decision, and picking out which ones are emotionally driven and which are factually based.  REMOVE all emotionally driven statements and focus on the FACTS.

2. Make Your Decision Based on Logic

Use step one to lead you to your logical answer, the one that is guided by the facts.  Facts don't lie.  Emotions are ever changing and can be difficult to navigate, especially based on how well you have a grip on your own "shit".

You're clearly thinking about change for a reason, right?  What are those reasons and are they legitimate.  This is important to recognize and acknowledge.

* You make a decision using logic to guide you.  There are no right or wrong decisions, they just are, and whatever the consequences or sequence of events that follow, you take them in stride and deal with them as they come. 

Doubt can come a lot of times when you don't trust your own logic or decision making process, correct?  I've also run into this.  Ever heard of the saying "trust your gut"?  That's a thing, and your internal compass will hardly ever steer you wrong.  At least that's what I tend to believe.  So, what can you do?

Flip a coin.   Yes, I said it, flip a damn coin.   Heads you do this and tails you do that.  It's very simple.  Flip it. After you flip this coin, how do you feel about the result?  What is your internal dialogue?  Pay attention to this.  Do you re-flip the coin, hoping for a different result?  What is your knee jerk reaction to flipping the coin?  I'm serious.

Now, use that, and use your damn logic, make a choice, and run with it. If you're anything like me, I think you may find that your logic and your initial reaction to flipping the coin may line up. Trust yourself.  You know you best.  Stop asking your friends what to do, and figure it out your damn self.  You  know you best.

You've Made the Decision - Now What?

- Chances are at some point you're going to experience anxiety about the decision, some kind of regret - similar to "buyer's remorse" right?  Like oh shit, did I just mess everything up?  I don't know, did you?  Probably not.  Do yourself a favor and walk yourself through the same logic list you used to arrive at your decision.  Re-experience that.  Write down all of the reasons why you made your decision - the logical things.  Watch as your anxiety subsides.  If it doesn't what else can you do?  Talk it out with a friend, your therapist, your dog, whatever.  There may actually be incidents where maybe you didn't make the best decision.  But remember, there isn't really a "right" decision, it just is what it is.  Can you take it back?  No, then create an action plan and take things as they come, do what you can to get back to where you want to be.  Things in life are hardly permanent or "final", they are ever changing.  You might take a detour, but you'll always end up exactly where you're supposed to be.

Remember, you can always message me and we can talk through all of your stuff and see what's going on, together.