I haven't said much about it, for fear of jinxing it or something...but I started physical therapy last week.  I'm honestly impressed at my ability to find a guy that is really pretty awesome.  I can't lie, I was really skeptical...I mean I still am, but he's really good so it makes me feel better.  I got a legit back pump on Monday, which I imagine is probably what back soreness SHOULD feel like, not like anything I've ever gotten from lifting. Basically, we are really focused on my body positioning and really being able to engage my core, while slowly adding in movements and eventually progressing to squats and deadlifts.  I'm doing the PT in conjunction with the tens unit and the prescription anti-inflammatory.  Every time up until now I had been able to find things to relieve the pain when I would bend forward, only to go back to body weight squats and some leg press and then again, not be able to bend over.  This time is different in that I actually feel like the pain is going away slower, but I'm still active and incorporating movements that will eventually lead to squat and deadlift...without having issues.  That's the main part, nothing that I'm doing is ADDING pain.

Like I already said, I'm skeptical, but open minded and really giving it 100%.  I'm not looking to get back into the gym and be deadlifting 400+ or squatting heavy again, but I would really like to get back to some normal light weight training which is really the goal.  I'm legitimately becoming aware of different muscles and how to work them...the mind body connection, which is a piece I feel like I have always been missing.  I was doing a stretch on my first day and my PT said, "you can squeeze your right glute during this one to get a deeper stretch." And I just looked at him and I said, I don't know how.  I kind of laughed, because I legitimately couldn't just flex one glute.  I wanted to, but when I tried it just wouldn't fire.  I've been working on it though, and I actually incorporate it into the stretch every time now.  I was a gymnast, so I of course know how to squeeze my glutes, but to do it one at a time mid stretch?  Uh what?

Which brings me to my next point.  You can literally work a muscle over and over and over again, but if you're not legitimately engaging it, you're not doing shit.  I talked about this alot with my PT.  You can do as much glute work as you want, but if you're not actually engaging and firing them while doing the exercise, in order to activate the muscle, I mean you really aren't doing anything to help that muscle be functional throughout a lift or exercise.  I'm of course not as intelligent, or honestly I might not even be saying this right, but I think you get the point.  I've always been a quad dominant squatter and I've ALWAYS struggled in the hole without wraps.  This is something that I never focused on in my training, always working with wraps or a box squat.  I never learned to stay tight throughout the entire lift, never learned how to engage my glutes and actually use my hamstrings.  Not to mention, good god, do you have any idea how hard it is for me to maintain a neutral spine?  I seriously always wanna be flexy or something and my immediate reaction is to flare my butt out and arch my back, as if this is going to protect my spine and keep me tight....on the contrary it was doing the exact opposite.  Same thing with deadlift positioning.  I can tell you these things are going to be a major focus in the future.

I have already done some work analyzing my old squat and talking with some pretty awesome people about what could be better and where I need to improve; how I can  change things when I come back.  Any time I have been able to do bodyweight squats, I've also been extremely focused on my form and positioning, along with breathing and bracing.  Breathing is SO huge, and something I also work on in PT.  I would recommend signing up for the Kabuki Strength newsletter, as my teammate, Chris Duffin, does a freaking awesome job at walking you through a lot of positioning and breathing exercises, and how to incorporate those into your lifting, specifically squatting.  You get complete access to all of the info and YouTube videos....for free.

I've learned to be proactive in all of this.  Although I can't come back yet, and I probably won't be able to for a long time (that's ok), I can still work on things to make myself better.  We can always be better.