Sat, 9 June 18

Events @ Iron Strong CF

...and my descending colon.  I have never in my 37 years on this earth, since mastering the art of potty training, come closer to all out crapping my britches than I did yesterday driving home.  I don't know what was wrong because I didn't eat anything different in the last 48 hours than I have been eating for weeks or any more or significantly change up any meals times, but about an hour out from getting home, I started to feel some cramping in my guts.  It lasted for a few minutes and went away and nothing was feeling urgent so I figured I'd be safe to wait until I made it home to enjoy the solitude of the Poop Deck and a squatty potty.  I was so wrong.  Cramping came and went a couple more times and then about 15 minutes from home, I felt a sudden and unstoppable force making its way to my balloon knot.  It might as well have been the Juggernaut because there was no stopping Caca Cain Marko from rushing down the Hershey Highway.  My options were to pull over and pinch a loaf on the side of the road with no TP (so I'd be losing one of my favorite pairs of socks), making stool in my drawers, or pulling off the highway at the first available off ramp and getting my ass to a can ASAFP.  I initiated a program of hyperventilating, shouting at the top of my lungs in rage, and intermittently punching myself in the thighs  to try to contain the brown tsunami as I accelerated down the off ramp closing in on triple digit speeds in my Toyota Tacoma.  Thankfully I knew there was a Rofo a couple miles down the road from the ramp I took off the highway, but it was Friday afternoon and the road I chose was also the main drag to get to the beach at Ocean City.  This meant traffic was already backing up, which did not bode well for maintaining clean shorts and controlled bowels.  I very briefly weighed the pros and cons of obeying traffic laws and pooping my pants or driving like a bat out of hell and risking a ticket for what would likely be multiple traffic violations.  Laws be damned, I wasn't going to ruin my streak with boxer briefs full of BM.  I stepped on the gas and wrenched the wheel over to maneuver around the traffic backup and flew past the line of vacationers headed for the sun and sand of OC like a bat out of hell down the shoulder of 50 east toward Rofo and freedom.  I slowed down enough to make the right turn off 50 and negotiate the traffic circle without going up on 2 wheels, then turned into the parking lot with my steering wheel spinning round like a drift racer as I slammed on the brakes and left skid marks in the parking lot in my efforts to keep them from my underoos.  I ripped open my door and jumped out, slamming it behind me as I walked as fast as possible for the men's room.  I didn't run because I had a feeling the up and down motion from my strides would unleash the fury.  The first stall I tried was occupied, but thankfully the second was not and I threw home the door slide as I dropped trou and duece after deuce into the prettiest toilet I'd ever laid cheeks on.

There's probably a moral here about not putting off dealing with your shit or always carrying a roll of double ply with you, but I was just happy I painted the toilet bowl brown and not my clothes and car seat.  Anyway, after all that I still felt pretty crappy (pun intended) the rest of the day and a little bit the next morning, and it followed that my training was largely in the same state.  I still got some work done, but more just focusing on technique and trying out some different ideas since several of the actual weights for USS nats are unknown (truck weight, sled weight, tire size, etc).

Tire Flip/Prowler Backward Drag Medley

8 flips x 450

50' x prowler + 90

8 flips x 450/50' x prowler + 180

2x{8 flips x 450/50' x prowler + 270} - Video of 2nd run.

A post shared by Andy Deck (@andydeck) on

Seated Arm Over Arm Prowler Pull

100' x prowler + 180

2x100' x prowler + 230

100' x prowler + 140 - More focus on arm drag with less legs.  Didn't work too well.

I used my 2" rope for this and that much length of rope that thick adds well over 100 lbs to the start of the drag in rope weight.  Even feeling like my conditioning is solid right now, I think that might be a beast of an event.