You ever do something then think, "What the hell did I just do?"....I just did that tonight.
My squat stance, my stability and my brain has been fucked up for the past few weeks since reentering the world of multiply squatting after several months off from indulging one last time in raw bliss. I cant put my finger on what is wrong. Nothing feels right and I do mean nothing. Ive changed my shoes, my briefs, hell I am even in a new suit and just cant figure out what is wrong. I was hoping that I would transfer back over just as quick as anytime time berfore. You know..just like riding a bike. But it appears that I need training wheels or a smack across the damn face I dont know.
It maybe that I am just over thinking things, it may be we have just moved, maybe from moving, maybe that our septic tank was shattered by Duke energy, it may even be that I lost my job, it may be that my little girl is growing up to fast and graduating high school in a couple of weeks, then again it may just come down to me being a pussy...who knows at this point.
Tonight started like any other night, stretching, warming up, you know all the borin shit that nobody does until your old broken and hurt. When we started squatting my mind is going a hundred miles a minute thinking about my stance, my set up, and most importantly for me my pick up. A squat begins and ends with a good or bad pick up. I thought that I had this mastered several months ago wverything was leading in the right direction but I seem to have lost my mojo.
Around my 4th or 5th set I felt like I was locking myself in, it seemed as if things were feeling like they should be feeling from start to beginning. On my second to last lift with 850 pounds I smoked the weight, my set up was strong and my pick up was perfect. It was getting late it was around 10 pm and I contemplated taking my last lift of the night that was planned cause I knew everybody was ready to get home but I also knew everybody would stay if I did take it with no issues. So I decided to take my last lift which was planned if everything went right and the way things were going I needed that last lift to build my confidence back.
So as I am setting up for my last attempt I did everything that I am supposed to do, feet knees hips head hands everything was on point...then I did something that I have never done before in my life before a squat. I was fully locked in shoulders dug deep into the bar, all I had to do was pick the bar up and squat. Instead this is where I did "What in the hell did I just do that for" moment. I dropped my entire body 2-3 inches and slammed my back into the bar and then immediately picked the bar up. Now mind you this is 900 pounds on the bar and I slammed my back and neck into the bar as hard as I could and picked the bar up. When I did this it was like my entire body went numb and this feeling came over me that something was very very wrong.
Melissa pushed the hooks back under the bar on the mono and everyone grabbed the weight to rerack it. I almost fell completely over.During the dumb ass moment I heard a couple of pops of some sorts like something had broke. I wasn't sure what it was but I knew it wasn't good. We got me out of my gear and I went to sit down and I know my body well enough to know that something wasn't right but I wasn't sure what. I played it off to everybody like I was OK but actually I was not. I set there for probably like 30 minutes thinking the worst and thinking why in the fucking shit did I just do what I just did. I didn't have any answers at that moment and I don't have any right now. I am not a doctor but I feel like something is majorly wrong, looks like I will be going to see a doctor in the next couple of days and see what it is.
Its always something isn't it.....