I had to rewrite a couple of rules on the board today after yesterday's gfaws.

My gym is a Coaching facility. We don't have mirrors or a lot of glitz and amenities. We have weights! A lot of weight. We have three mono lifts, three reverse hypers, a dozen GHRs, five benches, Two power racks, Two full size "rigs", a copious amount of specialty bars, bands, chains, prowlers, sleds, well...you get the idea. Not fancy, but very effective. Most importantly??? We have TWO world-class Strength and Conditioning Coaches (and a few Crossfit coaches that are actually worth their weight).

So here is where I almost lost it. If you are going to use your cellphone to look up whatever, talk to whomever, or have headphones or ear sperm in, then how the fuck can you be coached if you can't hear what I have to say?

If I tell you to do something to improve your performance and your first response to the instruction is "HUH?" I am turning away and telling you to "never mind".

You either come to my gym to get strong and conditioned or you go home! No hard feelings. Just don't waste our time! Text whomever you choose, just don't include me or the other coaches in your modern-day bullshit.

That part about "I have to listen to my music to get motivated..."? Yea, how about this, I tell you if you are motivated or not.

You pay good hard-earned money to "Coached"! I don't give a rat's ass if you think you're a special little snowflake that deserves to be treated differently. NO! That's not how I've done things for the past 50 years.

For fuck sake, I don't even HAVE A PHONE! I refuse to take part in the cyber dog leash that everyone is addicted to. When I see a group of people sitting around a table playing thumb fuckery with their devices instead of having an actual conversation, I want to pee on them.

A conversation is becoming a lost art! Without conversation then there is no COACHING!

So the memo went up today.

NO:

  1. Phones
  2. Headphones
  3. Ear Sperm
  4. Instant Gramming from the gym
  5. Facebookery from the gym

Leave the stuff in the car. If you are afraid of them getting stolen then buy a "Stasher" from my training partner, Tony Sanchez. (It's a safe in your car that doubles as a floor mat)

Keep your PODcasting out of the gym. The pods are too small for my people anyway.

Keep your technology to destroy enemy positions and areas of operation.

Give me a Texas Squat Bar, a few thousand pounds of weight, and some gnarly training partners with the gift of "chirp", and let's get at it!

Today's Training:

Cycle: Commute

Prowler: 12x40x+50

Anderson Squat w/ SSB Yoke Bar: 4 RM

GHR: 4x12

Reverse Hyper: 4x12

Snatch Grip 45-degree Back Extensions: 3x7xBar

Ab Wheel: 2x25

Cycle: Commute