I saw a post on Instagram the other day that went something like this:
“I was doing curls and felt a big pop near my elbow. Now I can’t hold anything in my hand and it hurts really bad… not interested in seeing a doctor. What should I do?”
No, I’m not exaggerating, and yes, the dude was serious. So, I figured this would be a good opportunity to give our poor torn-bicep man some alternative solutions to seeing a doc:
5 Things Better Than Asking For Injury Help on IG
- Essential oils. Rub some lavender and shit on there and call it good.
- Magnets.
- At-home detoxing. Because if you can’t use your hand and you refuse to see a doctor, you’re on some good shit.
- Crystals. I hear they go well with essential oils. (While researching this article, I found that you can actually buy a crystal egg to go inside your vagina from a site called “Goop,” and that these are apparently very popular.)
- Animal sacrifices. When all else fails, ask Satan for help.
Obviously, none of those things will do fuckall to help heal a torn bicep tendon – but they’re probably less likely to cause you harm than asking random people on the Internet for help diagnosing a potentially serious injury. And if you ask a well-educated doctor or physical therapist, they’ll still probably be very hesitant to help diagnose a potentially serious injury without any hands-on interaction.
In all seriousness, I simply can’t fathom the idea of hurting yourself so badly that a part of your body simply doesn’t work, and then refusing to see a doctor for help. Please, please, please don’t be that guy (or girl). SEE A DOCTOR.
