It takes a village to raise a child is an African proverb that means that an entire community of people must interact with children for those children to experience and grow in a safe and healthy environment. The villagers look out for the children. This does not mean an entire village is responsible for raising your children or the children of a crowd.
The month isn’t over and I'm not done bringing my thoughts, advice, and experience. While all my past posts have focused on my son, I'm going in another direction with this one.
As parents, there are many times we feel alone, many times we feel we’re not even connecting with our child. I know this is how I felt much of the time when he was young. The advice from family, cousins, friends would either upset me or make me mad. I didn’t know what to do, as it was all new to me. Not just being a parent, but a parent of a child with ASD.
This past weekend was a great reminder to me that his cousins, my family, in-laws, and those close to us love him. They ALWAYS did. They were learning just as we were. They love him the same as I love their children and always will. He’s comfortable with them all, not judged, not made fun of, just Blaine for who he is...Blaine
I wouldn’t say I’m blessed to have the family I do, but I am. At the same time, I could have never forgiven them for their advice that “I” felt intrusive or insulting. I not only forgave them, but completely forgot until watching a family picture being taken and my son smiled. This is very rare. Some reading this will understand how cool this is more than others but it’s pretty damn cool.
I actually felt bad for how I took their advice. It was given out of love, and with the same misunderstandings we were living with.
I understand not everyone has the same family structure, but I also know most parents with children with ASD do have people around them who may drive them a bit crazy or even piss them off.
My advice is to remember they love your child, they care, they want to help, and in time will know how. These are the people your child will learn to know and trust best. They will always care and, god forbid anything ever happens to you, will be the ones to step up.
If you're dealing with the miscommunication and shortcomings now, cut them some slack. In 12 years you may sit back and watch your child, who hates pictures, sit with his cousins and smile. Little things make the greatest moments in life.
Embrace them.
#autismawareness
