There’s always something crazy going on in this industry. At any moment, there’s a maniac in a weight room taking a dangerous lift and a shady businessman in an office finding a way to turn dirty profits. The posts you find here in my log are the musings of a mashed-up meathead — the reactions I have as I spend my whole life watching this industry. I will share my thoughts with you here, unedited, uncensored, unfiltered, and Under The Bar. If you are offended by profanity - do not read this. 

The Chili Bowl

Today was the Chili Bowl for pee wee (or whatever they call it now) football.

My sons team went in undefeated and beat the other team earlier in the year. The cool thing about this bowl game is the two top finishers of the conference are both from London, OH. This alone is a big win for the future of our local game. All the kids know each other and a year from now (hopefully) most will be on the same Jr High Team.
Either way, one wins and one loses. As a parent I've been in this position twice before with my son. All the other sports seasons, well, the teams were not that good but foundations were being laid. I asked myself before the game...

as a father raising a child into a man, would I rather him win or lose?

Winning is great and I want to see that just as much as any other patent does -  but at this level what does that really mean other than your team happened to have more kids who matured early. I mean, did they really bust their ass in practice? Did they all put in extra effort at home? Do they even have the hormones to train hard and aggressively? Do they really earn the win or were they just selected to be on the team with more early maturing kids? Winning, really winning take work, not just work but hard work... and some luck but that for another day.

 
Does winning even matter at this level? I think it does because where there are those who win there are those who didn't. Thus my question before the game. As a father what would be best for my child?

 
His team lost. After not losing a game all season, they lost the bowl game. As they walked off the field several helmets were tossed, tears were falling, kids were pissed, as well as, some parents  (I just ignore most parents). Where was my son?

 
He's hard to spot because #11 might be the smallest kid in the league. I've yet to see any player smaller out of all the teams they've played. He's not maturing early that's for damn sure. Throughout the season he went from being blown on his ass every practice and every down to being able to hold his own and made a couple sacks. Not big enough to play offense he was 1 of 3 kids that didn't play both ways.  I'm still not sure how he even made it through the first week.

When I found him his helmet was still on, head held high and tears in his eyes. We as parents have a responsibility in this sports world that I feel must be taken seriously.  When these moments come you need to be there to correct and/or reinforce the behavior you see. These moments are NOT judging the other kids, parents, coaches or refs. Come on! Seriously what more important? Raising our kids to be responsible and productive adults or tearing down others as a means to justify their loss or inability to play?
It took five minutes of my wife's and I's  time to remind him the importance of losing with character and pride. That losing does hurt, should hurt and is supposed to hurt but don't let the other team see it!

Don't let your team see it!

Stand out and be a leader and show you will play again another day and WILL be better because you will learn from the loss.

When you see your friends from the other team congratulate them on playing well and mean it. Someday soon or many years later you maybe on the same team.

Hold your head up high, you've come along way.

You will get better.

THIS doesn't define you, it's what you do with it that does.

This journey has just begun.

As parents we need to keep that last line in mind. We are not raising football players, baseball players, soccer players, we are raising life players, children who will become Men and Women who will, in the future,  define us all. These kids are our future. Win or Lose be there  teach them how to become better than us.

I not here to tell you how to raise a child or be a parent but remind you that there are moments - defining moments - where what you say, act or do, even if it's only one sentence or one minute can leave a lasting impression. If you see these moments...

CEASE THEM!

Maybe you don't think you can change the world, maybe you don't care to, but that is not to say your children can't.