I like to say to people,...THIS isn't my first Rodeo. Meaning, I've been doing the coaching thing for quite a while. Actually almost four times as long as being a Dad.
BUT, I think there are lessons that carry over nicely enough.
If you know my coaching style AND you know my relationship with my son, you have heard that I give TWO critiques every game/or practice.
The "Coach" in me wants to help ALL my players make it to the next level and beyond. The "Coach" in me wants ALL my players to succeed. The "Coach" in me will be hard on my players because nursing and burping them doesn't make them better. What makes them better is first SEEING them far down their path, FIRST. Then putting together a plan to overcome their weakness (which needs to be identified and brought to light) and then properly progress them in the most efficient method available.
Last weekend we played TWO magnificent hockey games. Game 1 on Saturday evening, Hunter played remarkably (and against his former team) He was flawless in his reads, his passes were crisp and assist type level. He played physical and without hesitation, as did the ENTIRE team. We came away with a Win to a team that by all accounts should have beaten US, but didn't.
Hunter on the way home likes me to critique his efforts in the privacy of our EM-50 and hour drive.
"What did I earn as a score, Coach?" (based on a 1-10 scale)
I tell him how proud I am of him, and how good he played..."Nine out of Ten". (If he scores as a defensemen, he earns a 10)
He's happy with his report card...
"What does my DAD give me?"
I tell him, "I'm proud of you, and love you very much. I give you a 12 out of 10. You're ready for the Hockey Hall of Fame. Let's get some Ice Cream"
Fast forward to the next day's game. We walk away with another win (Currently we're undefeated at a 14-0 mark), but my SON did not play well or as I have gotten used to.
We can make excuses or we can make improvement. But we can't do both.
Although we stomped on a team that should not have been on the ice with us 10-2, he asked the question...
"So Coach, what do I get for that performance?"
I look him in the eye and tell him.."We Won"
"Yea but how do you think I did?" came next.
I return fire with, "What do you THINK you deserve?"
He tells me "Three?" I look at him and tell him that he's being rather rough on himself, that I rate that performance as a "FOUR".
-Silence-
Momma Bear was about to chime in exhibiting "Protection Mode on Full".
I hold up my finger so that she can see and only she can see indicating..."Hold On, there's a purpose to my assholeness"
One hour goes by, and he asked me, "Should I do more?"
To which more is NOT better...Consistency is the answer. "No, you don't need more. You actually need LESS, but you need the less more often. You see Hunter, you come out of a lesson or game with a critique that wasn't your usual standard and it pissed you off. You are MOTIVATED to not let that happen again (he's been coached well to this point) When you do this, you give me extra work in the gym, you stick handle without being told, you grab extra skate time, you eat correctly and you get the right amount of rest. FOR A WEEK OR UNTIL YOU HAVE IMPROVED, then you go back to your old habits. Instead, don't do an extra hour once, but DO 15 minutes MORE four times!"
You need to change the behavior to change the habit! It needs a replacement then the reward will come!
He looked at me and nodded. Still not satisfied with his performance, he leans forward in the car to tell me after I asked, "Would rather I lie to you?" "No Dad! I needed to hear that" (Smart kid comes from a pair of SMART parents)
Then he asked..."What does my Dad give me for the performance?"
I quickly reply..."I am proud of you and I love you. I give you a 12 out of 10 and will start the induction into the NHL Hall of Fame. Let's get some ice cream!"
As a Coach, you need to tell the truth! You don't have to be a Jack Ass when you do it. I let HIM play his own Devil's Advocate.
As a Dad...well...a little white lie never ruined anyone, but ALWAYS preface the dialog with how proud you are that they are your son, or daughter and that you love them no matter WHAT!
Today's Training:
Concept II Rowing Ergometer: 20 minutes
Birdog: 3x10
Cat/Camel: 3x10
Fire Hydrant Knee Circle: 3x10
Ab Wheel Roll Out: 3x10
Suspended Knee to Elbow: 3x10
Sit Up: 3x10
AirDyne Bike: 20 minutes
Sprint I: 10x10 yards
Sprint II: 10x50 yards
4 way neck: 1x15