Dear J.L. Holdsworth
I told you when we got back together that I was bad for you. I told you this kind of love won't stay unbroken. I told you I wasn't deserving and will test your boundaries.
It's been along time since I've walked the edge and have gotten to peak at what most never see. You took me to that edge and told me to look fast and step away.
I told you I would but I really liked the view. It's been SO long that a peak just wouldn't do. I pitched a tent and stayed several days. It rained, it snowed and I stayed on the edge.
Then right when I wasn't looking a gust of wind shot me over but I held on, pulled my fat ass up and came back to you today... Weathered and broken.
But before the wind knocked my ass over I did hit a close grip incline press record (kinda) of 315x3. This was on Saturday when I trained with John Meadows on my pretend to be a bodybuilder day. This was our second movement (we did four working sets of 10 on the machine press first). I'm sure had I done the incline first I would have been good for 200 pounds more.
Ya, I'm lying. You see if I admit to these little lies you won't be able to tell when I tell you the real big ones.
Oh, when I did the Incline Press, no pain and I did have spotters incase something bad happened. NO, not high school kids that don't train but actual lifters whom I trust in case I tear some shit off.
We then did more boring bodybuilding stuff and talked about "pumps", "lean protein", and "biceps" because nobody can tell what you lift but can always see what you look like... something like that... I can never get that one straight because I really don't care what I look like but you already know that because thats part of what makes us 1 + 1 = 3 right?
The next day I was back to pretending to be a Powerlifter . Box Squats with Yoke Bar Bar and choked average bands. 3 plates per side for 8 sets of 2 as explosive as I could. I tried to blow my nuts out again but they stayed in. Damit! Oh, the bands add like 900 pounds to the top and the accelerated eccentrics make me strong AF.
Right into speed pulls with bands. Big mistake because I hate to pull, hate bands and my timing was fucked. Oh, well, did them anyhow. My powers were taken from me like some nasty trick from hell.
Onto reverse hypers, abs and then home to die.
Half way home - lower back pump from hell. Had to stop and pull over, then groin cramped. Good times!
Spent the rest of the day watching Netflix without you with ice behind my knees and on my back.
I'm damaged and broken - and you want and think you can fix me? Until today I didn't think that was true.
After meeting you today I think I may have learned my lesson because I don't want to go through the pain and heartache you gave me this morning. My head is still ringing and my heart and ribs are killing me.
I don't say this often and mean it but "I'm sorry".
I'll stay at an 8, you can bet your ass on that.
I thought it would be cool to break your work and now I know what happens when someone's does that. Next time I think I'll just select being punched in the face.
Love,
Zippy
ps. This relationship thing is way harder than I thought
Pss. Fuck you