About four months ago I got some kind of wild hair up my a$$ about competing again. I really wish I could tell you all why. I wish I could tell myself.
It wasn't as if I was doing anything extraordinary. I had already competed in the 198 class. And I certainly didn't think I was going to lift more since that had been over five years ago putting me now in my fifties. I had since got my pipe dream of a full meet return under my belt as well. There was nothing to prove.
Now that I am typing this, it's coming back to me. I was gaining weight on my reverse diet and I thought in some way it would justify it. Considering I had lost 130 lbs the idea of gaining weight was freaking me out. Epiphany aside, the juice wasn't worth the squeeze.
Back to the reason for today's blog. About three months into training my back started bothering me. Instead of doing the most important thing, and trying to figure out why I just moved forward and dealt with it.
As it wasn't an acute injury I didn't put much thought into it. But when I stop and really think, I cannot deny 1+1=2. My back injuries have not flared up for a couple of years. So why now? What's different? Putting my feet on the ground to bench, that's what's different.
For the longest time, I have been benching with my legs up due to my back complications. For those unaware, I have multiple ruptured/herniated lumbar discs, thoracic arthritis, and spinal stenosis. This has been to mitigate back issues and worked with good results.
Now, have I been fooling myself thinking benching with my feet down was not going to be an issue? Perhaps, but perhaps not. It's possible that all of the work I have done over the past couple of years could have set me up for success. But looking back (no pun intended), it did not.
Just because I did not feel a sudden jolt in my back doesn't mean the arching and additional pressure on my spine wasn't taking its toll. Clearly, it did. It was death by a thousand cuts
At present, my back feels pretty sh!tty. I worked so long and hard for this not to be the case. I allowed my wants to surpass my needs. I wanted to compete, but I need to feel whole and pain-free to lead a happy and productive life.
Does this little lesson resonate with you? Are you doing anything you really know you shouldn't be? Do you fear it catching up with you? We usually pay the piper when we do. Food for thought.
