We as human beings tend to look at the world egocentrically (from a self-centered standpoint). You know, kind of like how Galileo was thrown in jail for proposing the Earth was in fact not the center of the solar system. It is our nature to feel like our 17th Century ancestors who insisted that we are, indeed, the very thing which everything else revolves around.
Here's what it boils down to...we tend to overestimate the value that we bring to the table...quite literally, any table. Take a minute and think about your day to day and what "tables" or social circles you are a part of...
Your coworkers.
Your powerlifting crew.
Your family.
Your significant other.
Unless you meditate regularly and wake each morning with a moment of gratitude, I'm going to assume you're like the rest of us assholes and tend to question "am I getting a raw deal at work," or "is my friend really looking out for me?"
Let me tell you a little story about 22-27 year old Casey. While in corporate America, I worked hard and experienced success as a result of my hard work and fortunate circumstances. I also never truly appreciated what I had. I always wanted more. When Pat got promoted before I did, I felt slighted. "What about me?" Even when my boss was very clear about where I stood, and I was next in line for a promotion. I always felt like the company owed me something, and that line of thinking prevented me from enjoying the work I was doing and frankly just enjoying the recognition, bonuses, promotions, and accolades I had already received. It was like they were never enough.
Meanwhile, had I just looked at the other side of the coin...instead of "how good is the company (or insert anyone here) being to me?"...if I could have asked "how good am I to this company? What else can I do? What more can I do?"
The quote BE SO GOOD THEY CAN'T IGNORE YOU comes to mind.
As I've grown I realized how limiting that mindset can be from two perspectives. First, if you're always assuming that you should be receiving MORE, then you'll never be satisfied. Second, you're missing out on all of the opportunities that could propel you ahead both in your professional career and within your social circles outside of work.
If you ever catch yourself thinking "how good of a friend is this person to me," flip it. How good of a friend are you being to them?
If you ever catch yourself being critical of a training partner, ask yourself "what can I do to make them better?"
When you feel let down by your significant other and you question their commitment, ask yourself how committed are you to that person or that relationship.
Self awareness is a powerful thing. And if you are bringing everything you have to the table as a friend, spouse, employee, or training partner, then good on you. And even check yourself to make sure you're not bringing TOO MUCH. Draw your boundaries and protect yourself if you realize you're pouring yourself into something or someone and aren't feeling equally taken care of.
But if you're not, take ownership of what you're bringing to the table. And quit overestimating just how "good" or "valuable" you think you are. Bring it every day. Be so good that there is no doubt how valuable you are.
