Years back, I was told if I decreased the temperature of my balls, my testosterone would increase.
I got a butter dish and filled it up with water. I put an apple in the middle of it and put it into the freezer overnight. The next morning, I cut the apple out and had a real nice hole, just perfect to fit my balls into. I could wear some loose shorts, pull myself out to the side, and place my bag in the dish as I drove to the gym.
The dish worked perfectly. While it hurt like hell in the beginning, the pain wore off with time. I knew that once I got to the gym, the PRs would fall. Who else would be doing this?
I ran into a bit of a traffic jam, and got stuck next to a semi-truck driver. The look on his face was one of total shock. He had to be asking himself, “Why in the hell does that big bald dude have his bag in a butter dish?”
The traffic jam kept me on ice for another ten minutes. When I pulled into the parking lot, I could actually feel the testosterone building. When I stopped the car, it was time to pull my bag out and get in the gym. If you remember the kid in the movie, "The Christmas Story," with his tongue stuck to the flagpole, my bag was frozen to the butter dish.
It then hit me! I had to walk into Westside Barbell club with my bag frozen to a butter dish. I could just see the look on Louie's face, after I walked in the door holding my gym bag in one hand, my belt in another, and a butter dish attached to my bag!
I couldn’t deal with this, so I had to get out of there as soon as possible... then... I woke up in a cold sweat. It was 2:30 a.m., and I was fine. I didn’t have any frozen balls, or a butter dish. It was all a dream (nightmare). These internet gurus are killing me, and now coming to me in my dreams. People who tell you this kind of stuff have no idea what they’re talking about.