I think I drank my first protein shake in 1980. Nasty ass milk and egg shake mixed with orange juice with huge clumps of non-soluble crap floating on top.

I would plug my nose and chug it. After about 3-4 days I went back to getting my protein by eating more meat and drinking more milk.

I'm sure at some point in your lifting career, you were on the protein shake train. A great way to get those extra few grams of protein in.... right??!!

Except...

I want you to ask yourself two questions:

1. Have you ever seen the bottom of a protein container? In other words, have you used every gram of powder in the thing?

2. Do you have a container RIGHT NOW that is half full and has been half full for more than six months?

 

If protein shakes actually 1) worked and 2) didn't taste like satan's butthole then there would be no reason to come up with something like the...

 

CHICKEN SHAKE. 

 

chicken-shake-swede

Photo: Swede Burns - organic food prep

 

 

 

This is not new by any means, but its popularity is on the rise.

To make a Chicken Shake, you first need to cook the chicken. This takes time. Far more time than opening a jug and tossing a scoop in a shaker cup.

 

Let's say this takes 50x longer.

 

Now say what you want, I have actually done this. It's not like drinking Campbell's chicken soup. You don't need to hold your nose while you drink it but it's not what I would call delicious.

 

To recap, it takes 50x longer to make, tastes bad, and no doubt costs more than a scoop of protein powder.

 

AND YET!

 

Even with all the shakes that claim to "taste just like" (fill in the blank) with their five syllable ingredients that are "proven" to build MASS FAST! The same shakes that mix well, are easy to travel with, contain more protein, and can be picked up cheap using top Instagram athlete's discount codes.

 

People are still taking the time to make chicken shakes.

Even the athletes who get protein powder for free.

Hmm..

 

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NOTE: I've always wanted to write a really stupid blog with a clickbait title, image, and really dumb text just to see all the ignorant comments it would get from people who don't ever click though or  just skim it. Oh, the article is also a joke, just having to write this cracks me up.

 

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