I have an internal alarm clock that works magnificently.  0300 my eyes open, my bladder needs emptying, my fangs need scraping, the desert in my mouth needs water.

I walk out in the dark because of my infrared night vision...and can find in minimal light all the things I need to start the day.

THIS morning, I saw IT!  The mastodon of rodents.  At first, I thought it might have been my Bernese Mountain Dog, Cooper.  (He weighs +100 lbs) but I left him on my bed to snuggle with April.

NO WAY!  This was a resilient Rodent.  We had our house Occluded of them just last year, when I heard the Ninja Rats taking up ownership in my attic and crawl spaces.

Professional removal has kept Alvin and his brothers at bay.

NO SIR...THIS was a Rogue Rat...(anything with that name can't be good)

He was 21 feet in length and weighed close to 145 lbs.

I hit the light, he stared at me, WAITING to make my move.

Never one to turn a shy eye...I engaged him first with my guttural cacophony holler!  GRRRRRRRRR RHAAAAAA!!!!  DIE MOTHER EFer  DIE!!!!!!

I needed a weapon.  My first thought was the Barrett .50 cal.  NO!  Too much fire power for the confined space I was in.  I might shoot a hole in the floor.  Then I thought....the Mossberg shot gun.  AGAIN...NO!  Collateral Damage to my home was still a concern.

I went Old School!  BROOM!

I swatted him a few shots, dazing him.  He didn't know which way was up, or down.  (coupled with the fact that rats are blind to begin with)  I slid open the door and the rodent made his way out and thought he was in the clear.

He rested and was regaining his composure, when my thought went to ....THIS BASTARD is getting ready for Round 2.  (and he might be using Rat Sonar to summons his RAT ASS friends),..so I stepped out into the early morning darkness and re engaged Alvin into the fight for his life!  He gnawed and gnashed.  He circled around for a sneak attack, but I headed him off.

Sorry to say, I began to BEAT that rodent with such fierce swats of my broom, it was reminiscent of the tragedy of those poor baby seals had to endure.

Upon the lifeless motion of my advisory, I terminated the fatal blows.

Scooping him up with my Dog Poop rake, the thought of launching his dead carcass over the fence to my Royal Pain in the Ass neighbor's yard, brought a devious smile to my face.  But I thought better of it and deposited the lifeless body into the trash.

Since the blood was flowing...I woke the rest of Team Selkow up, and we rode into the gym on our bikes to

Squat:  Work up to a One rep Max (Hardly EVER do I use a one rep)  Using Douglas Heel's "BE-ACTIVATED" techniques to warm up

Here we did a Sushi 525 lbs.  NOT bad!  As a matter of fact...there were two of us, and my third partner hit a 475!

Dead Lift: Work up to 70% of max then did 15 sets of ONE.

Bike ride home...and ......

Done!