After my pec tendon reattachment, I was told I would not bench 400 again. "Your tendons look like overcooked angel hair pasta."
This was my first significant surgery/injury, and it wasn't a simple one. The tendon came off and was destroyed so badly that I was lucky it was able to be reattached. The muscle belly was also ripped in half. I couldn't turn my head or lift my arm for a month before surgery.
Post-surgery, there were many days questioning whether I’d ever bench a PR again. The fear was so bad at times that I didn’t know how to deal with it. I’d unrack the weight and feel my pec begin to “knot up.” I’d lower the weight anyway just to see what would happen. It would be fair to say that I tore scar tissue and popped that same pec 6-10x times in the first 8 months back. A few of these times were so bad I was sure I tore it off and I had to see the surgeon to make sure it was still attached. Each time, I basically told, "I told you so."
One day, during a max effort training session, I tried an experiment. I decided to do the opposite of what I’d always done. Instead of getting myself psyched up, I tried to psyche myself out. I visualized and focused on what it would look and feel like to tear my pec BAD during the lift. I saw the bar smashing my face as my pec tendon blew off. I pictured my head shattered with blood all over the floor, being passed out with paramedics around me. I scared the absolute crap out of myself, my hands started shaking, then went to the bar to bench.
“I have to get this bar off me as fast as I can,” I thought as the bar went down. As soon as it hit my chest, it rocketed back up in half a second. I set a 60 pound PR that day, and I discovered how to turn a weakness into a massive strength. Without consistently being in that position, I never would have figured this out. I had to go through all those muscle strains, scar tissue tears, head fucks, and asshole training partners tossing tissues at me, I would have missed the lesson.
The take away is you have to go through all the shit and embrace it - knowing it can always get much worse.
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