Every morning the first thing I do is to roll out of bed and hit my knees to communicate with my God. I do this before going to the bathroom and before I scape my fangs.
I am one that finds comfort with the working knowledge of what is left of my brain matter to believe in something greater than myself. (Oh..don't get me wrong, I'm pretty great if you ask me.)
My words are quick and decisive like my personality. I say non verbalizing (don't want to wake anyone else) "Lord...Teach me big things in small ways today"
I want to know how things are suppose to be and how I can use myself to better those around me. By making people around me better, I know I will improve as well, so it is and it isn't kind of selfish.
Anyway, having a small teaching in a big way would turn out much worse. Can you imagine the pain? The scar? The loss?
It would be unreal.
That's why I am having an issue grasping the magnitude of what took place the other day.
One of my friends and a younger fella that is like a son to me, asked me about a common friend. I didn't have any information about what he was talking about, so I went directly to the source. We are both that kind of guy. Go direct and ask questions.
I text my friend, "Are you ok?"
I saw that he received the message, but he didn't respond.
I added "?" to it after a few moments. I saw that he acknowledged THAT message. Still no response.
A third time..."Dude! What's UP???" " ???" noting he saw the question and still no answer.
I figured that he was perhaps on the can, or mixed up with something at the time and would get back to me as soon as he could, and let it go.
The next morning I hear about my friend taking his own life!
WHAT? That shit happens on T.V., the movies, or to someone else. Not to me, not in my world! Yet here it was. A sudden emptiness and a large "what the fuck?" question.
Was this a SMALL lesson to teach me something big? FUCK! It sure doesn't feel that way.
Don't get me wrong, this guy was a pillar of strength and a "Go To" human being. He had answers. He had wisdom. What went south?
I have been writing about Depression for a couple weeks intermittently, with one of my athletes describing her ordeal and a few other people who have come to me and allowed me into their personal dark space.
I posted yesterday on Social Media that I promise to be ears for those who need to talk.
I spoke with each participant in my program in my gym, that if I have a working knowledge of the subject, I will give you my opinion and resolution. If I don't know, I will tell you that I don't know and then listen until you are done talking.
I told them in all sincerity and seriousness.
Is this the BIG THING I'm suppose to be taught? I don't know. What I do know is that it sure doesn't feel like it was delivered in any small way!~!~
I offer that to everyone. Even if it is in a written message either here, or Social Media, I WILL be here!
No one needs to feel all alone...EVER!
Today's Training:
Tier I
"This is SPARTA!"
Run: 5K
Push Ups: 300 reps
Pull ups: 300 reps
Dips: 300 reps
We were going to do Dynamic Bench, but I had a wild hair up my butt and felt we needed to do something fun!
Bike Commute: 22 minutes
Tier II
Pull ups: 4x30
Wide Grip Row: 4x12
DB Row: 4x12
Flat DB Chest Press: 5x10
Incline DB Press: 4x12
Dips:4x12
DB Fly: 4x12
Ab Wheel: 4x15
