Jess and I competed in the Lightning Fitness Co-Ed Strong(wo)man Challenge this past weekend. I know it's hard to imagine, but we were actually in the lightweight division. Crazy, right? I never thought I'd be competing in a lightweight anything, ever.

I always thought strongman was cool. I have had a lot of strongman friends over the years, including a number of World's Strongest Man competitors. As you can see from the inspiration board I kept on the wall of my old gym, finishing third or better in a competition was a goal of mine. It was actually the only goal I had never completed. Note to self, start an inspiration board for the new gym.

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Considering that I am no longer focusing on being the best bencher I can be, it left me room to compete in strongman. Keep in mind, this was for fun. We competed in the novice division. Jess and I do not have access to the equipment and do not train for strongman. We traveled up Lightning Fitness to try the different events. By the way, Matt Mills who is a FREAK and a team member here at EliteFTS has a sick gym in South Windsor. I have been to gyms all over the country and I don't think I have ever seen a place set up so well for powerlifting, strongman, and just strength and conditioning in general.

I was able to do everything, but have zero form and really had no patience to learn it. Jess only struggled with the circus dumbbell. I think she missed it more than she got it that day. I'm pretty sure it's given her nightmares for the past few months just thinking about having to attempt it under contest conditions.

I figure we strength train and condition regularly so we will at least not look like fools. Most importantly it was for an awesome cause, Catch A Lift. They are an organization who mentally and physically heal veterans one by one through granted fitness programs. I donate to them monthly. I love the fact our passion can be a therapy for those who have sacrificed so much for our country. On top of that, when I told our principal we were competing he initiated a fund raiser at our school. The students and staff raised over $650 to donate for our efforts.

Ok, let's get into it. First was the press medley. It was a log, block, and circus dumbbell in any order. We could choose who went first and the order of implements we wanted. Even though we don't train strongman, Jess and I had one HUGE advantage. We are truly a team. We have been together for 27 years. We knew I could complete all the lifts so I should go first and we'd leave the dumbbell for last. This way, worst case scenario we'd only miss out on one lift. Simple right, surprisingly other teams did not figure this out.

Anyway, I used my horrendous form and got through everything. Jess nailed the block, then the log, but missed her first attempt at the circus dumbbell. One thing I emphasized to her throughout our discussions about the contest was, haste makes waste. We need to be fast, but deliberate. It's more important to finish. In addition, by staying under control, you lessen the chance of injury. Like the intelligent warrior she is, she stepped back, chalked up, and came back to blast the dumbbell. I'm so proud of her. It's not easy to comeback after a miss, especially in competition circumstances with a crowd watching.

Next were deadlifts. I had two strikes against me here. First, I only deadlift using a hex bar nowadays. I have only pulled conventionally twice in the past decade or so. The first time I completely ruptured one of my biceps. The second, I partially tore my hamstring. The other strike was that I deadlifted at the NOV Meet only a week prior, just barely squeaking out a 605. That was along with maxing out on the squat and bench press as well. Let's just say it's probably not best to jack up your central nervous system twice in eight days with max attempts. Nobody has ever accused me of being too bright. Anyway, I hit 545 comfortably. I skipped 565 which one novice contestant got, then I missed 575. Jess hit a solid 300.

Then it was on to the husafell stone. This is one I hate. For those not familiar with strongman, it's simply lifting up a really big weight, holding it on your chest which completely impairs your vision, and then trucking along as far as you can with it. I hoisted it up nearly to my shoulder and just took off. You have to go to a line, turn, and head back, just doing laps and going as far as you can. Well, with this giant weight in front of my face I missed a line and had to turn around and go back. Regardless, I suck at this event. Jess totally out classed me, as she always does and went at least half a lap further than I did.

The weird thing about strongman is that you don't really know where you are in standings. I knew we weren't first and I was pretty sure we weren't last. I was right. They posted results before the tire flip and we were "ughh" fourth out of seven. I know, just for fun right?

On the tire flip we worked really well as a team. I counted off and gave instructions as we went. I forgot to give a cue and we bobbled the tire once. That made the difference. We had 13 flips along with four other groups. The team in last place hit 14 and the team in first only hit 12. That shake up left us in third place for the final event.

Last was the keg carry and load. Again, I told Jess, haste makes waste! We definitely saw people going too fast and having a few bobbles. The first two kegs were light enough where we were able to run with them and hoist them over the bar. But for the last one, we were smart enough to stop and deliberately lap them, using technique, to get them over the bar. One of the competitors in better standings actually fell with a keg, which of course rolled away a bit causing that team to lose some time. There might have been a bobble getting the last keg over on top of it. The other team definitely had trouble trying to load the heaviest kegs as well.

At this point we were done regardless. It's hard to have any idea of times, but I was hopeful maybe we'd come in second. I changed up before the results and the next thing I know, the promoter is telling us we were tied for first and we'd have to go through a tie breaker. Holy sh!t I was surprised. However, I was also beat. I really just wanted to go home. The promoter proposed a tug of war. I asked the other couple if they had ever trained for that, they said "no." To that I responded "perfect, neither have we."

As I went to change I told Jess what our strategy would be. I told her we were just going to hold our ground during their initial pull. We'd wait them out a few seconds and then I would count "1, 2" and then we'd start pulling where "3" would be. Sure enough, the strategy worked like a charm and we won handily.

All in all the event was a blast. We met a ton of great people. I will say this, strongman competitions are even more congenial than powerlifting meets. There's tons of camaraderie, support, and cheering going on. Plus there are very few divisions, so you actually compete against other people.

Jess and I received our first place trophies and were able to present Matt Mills with a check for the $650 plus to Catch A Lift. However, we did have a sad reality. Once you win, you can no longer compete as a novice in strongman. With the open class, the weights are such that we'd have to actually train with the implements in order to complete the contest without killing ourselves, let alone be competitive.

So it looks like Jess and I have officially retired from strong(wo)man. At least we are going out on top. It's so funny because we've both looked at each other at least a dozen times since the contest and said "I can't believe we won." Even though I am semi-retired, it's still fun to compete.