In today’s edition of Old Man Conjugate I will excite you with tales of being pain free in my New Hip Update. Yes, I said pain free!

If you don’t read my logs regularly:

#1-You should

#2-I have been writing about this asshole of a left hip for years and my efforts to rehab it.

Well, last Monday I got a total hip replacement and I cannot believe where I am already. After I woke up from the very short (2 hour) surgery Monday I can say that I had some mild discomfort. Not pain. Now this could have been due to the nerve block and the IV drugs, but hey.

The Doctor gave me Percocet to take for a few weeks but I stopped them four days after the surgery because I am terrified of opiates and how easy it is to get addicted. Some of you may be saying that I am being silly, and that’s fine. I’ll stick with the you can’t get addicted if you don’t take them approach.

Now, the point of the last paragraph is not me virtue signaling about not taking drugs. It is about the fact that I am taking Ibuprofen only and I have NO PAIN.

This is something I cannot comprehend after living with it for so long.  And when I say no pain, I mean a zero level. I do have some muscular soreness and mild discomfort which is normal as the body adjusts to the new bolt on equipment and the moving and stretching of all the surrounding musculature during the surgery.   

Old Man Conjugate: New Hip Update-In Home Physical Therapy

Old Man Conjugate New Hip Update C J Murphy

Let’s just day that I am spoiled in this department as I have used some really outstanding PT’s over the years, and I was warned by a few colleagues about the quality of in home PT. Let’s just say that they were correct.

Over the course of 9 days they sent 3 different PT’s for each of my 3 visits. 1 of them was good.

1 of them gave me advice that would have totally fucked up the surgery. Good thing I looked it up and asked about it before doing it. As Reagan said, Trust but verify.

And 1 of the PT’s stood at my door arguing with me over the fact that state law says that I have to wear a mask in my home in order for her to treat me to prevent Covid.

Yes, this happened.

I could not convince this Patagonia and Birkenstock clad genius that state law does not and has never stated a mask is required for anything. I told her I believe that she is confusing her company policy with law and told her that she does not have to come in, but there is a zero percent chance I am wearing a mask.

She came in anyway and did virtually nothing.

At this point I am batting 0% on In Home PT.

By the time the 3rd appointment came around I was pretty much checked out, but the person they sent was great and did a lot, and accurately answered all of my questions before discharging me to my regular team at Refined Wellness PT.

She also said the I am progressing ahead of the curve and was pretty well ahead of where most are at this point (9 days out from the procedure). I was pretty happy about this.

Going forward, I am going to start PT at Refined next week and follow their advice. That will be harder than the rehab process because I am an old meathead and since there is no pain, I can get after it right?


Slow and low is how we will go. I’ve got the rest of my life to do dumb shit.

And, I haven’t had a dip since the 22nd of last month.

So I got that going for me.

Which is nice.

Stay tuned for more updates and maybe some secret exercises that Refined has me do.

Did you miss last week’s log?

Read it here.

Old Man Conjugate: Total Hip Replacement



Vincere vel mori

C.J. Murphy

February 2, 2023

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