This blog is not so much about my own journey, rather the paths of others. Since starting Operation Be Less Fat, I have been able to help many of you out there. I am frequently contacted by people telling me how I have inspired them, which is so cool. I also get asked lots of questions. I have even gone so far as helping people with advice and keeping them on track.

Through all of this, I have learned one very important thing. I cannot be accountable for someone else's journey. You will only make the progress you desire by holding yourself accountable. Don't think a friend, coach, significant other, or family member will do it for you.

There are a lot of you out there who I have helped for a period of time and then suddenly, you disappear. I know you have not reached your goals. In the past, I would chase you down in person or via social media, but not anymore. I can't want it for you more than you do. And if you think I am talking about you, you're probably right.

The best lesson I have had in this department is with my wife. Being the loving and caring person she is, when I went up a weight class in the past, so did she. When I was at my heaviest, she was close to 200 lbs herself. She may have hit it, but I think she was afraid to get on the scale. Anyway, those were the fun times. We called them the Rubenesque years.

So Jessica had her own journey. There was her heaviest and then there was a time when she was working with John Meadows where she was absolutely ripped. Then the coaching was over and the rebound happened. She has yo-yo'd with her weight quite a bit. I have been there for all of it and love her regardless. I only wanted her happiness. However, trying to help her became a strain. There would often be conversations that led to tears.

Mind you, I was not pushing Jessica to get into better shape. Like I said, I love her regardless. She wanted to be in great shape. Finally I told her, I was stepping away from it. It was not that I wasn't going to help, I was just no longer going to check up on her. She had to take the ownership. Guess what? Ever since then, she has risen to the occasion. She has slowly and consistently been dropping body fat and looks awesome.

vd jessica
Jessica looking pretty lean

In conclusion, I don't care who's checking in on you, or if you have the best nutritionist in the world, they cannot care more about your weight loss than you. Use these people for their intended purpose, learn from them. In the end just remember, the accountability starts and ends with you.

P.S. While I have left this post for a bit before editing, I received a great email from my college roommate Pooler. He was having a little struggle himself and we have been emailing back and forth. In this last email he thanked me for my help and reported back on his progress. This made me so happy. Unlike many, I don't get paid for my services. I just like to give back and help others the best I can. Knowing someone is improving his or her life is the best compensation I could ever ask for. Good luck to all of you in your journeys.