I have been trying to lean back up for the past three months. Life circumstances have taken a bit of a toll on my body. Between a surgery, injuries, and some life sh!t it's been tough to stay sharp.
Getting back on track is always a little difficult. You start remembering how tough the journey can be. No matter what anyone tells you or tries to sell you -- it's a grind.
I was supposed to be going on vacation next week, but for a personal reason, it's not to be. If I wasn't going away, I figured I was at least due for a cheat meal. So Jess and I decided on pizza. It's pretty much the only meal we don't recreate to our liking quite as much as going out. I also made some brownies for dessert.
Sad to say compared to my old days, I can't put away what I used to. I ended up eating nine slices (at least more than one large pie) and six brownies. That meal turned out to be about 3,500 calories, where my daily total has only averaged around 1,900.
The next morning I had a number of feelings going through my head and my body. I usually only eat about 40 grams of fat a day. I more than tripled that in one meal and man, my stomach felt awful. It was as if I was hung over.
Then to make things worse, I stepped on the scale. I had gained five lbs. Now I know I couldn't physically gain five lbs of body mass in one day and that it was mostly water, but it's still a mind f@*k to deal with. It takes me over a month to lose five lbs and to do that in one night causes a lot of weird head games to start rolling.
Interesting that I mentioned hungover earlier. I remember the last time I had drank enough to feel hungover. It was in Aruba and the next morning I felt poisoned. I told myself never again. That was over a decade ago and I stayed true to my word. I have never been hungover since.
Much like that morning after drinking, I'm pretty sure I won't be having a cheat meal like that ever again. It's just not worth it to me on so many levels. That's not to say I won't ever have a slice of pizza or something from a fast food restaurant again. It's just that I won't have a glutinous overboard meal of it.
When necessary either physically or mentally, I'll more likely be going with a high calorie day versus a cheat meal. The biggest difference between the two is that the fat will be much lower and the calories will be predetermined. I function really well off of a low fat and moderate to higher carb diet. Plus, with it being prepared at home, I know exactly what's going into the meal and the quality is far superior. Plus I won't have that guilty cheat feeling that being brought up Catholic has imposed upon me.
There are many things that I equate back to "Is the juice worth the squeeze?" I think I'm actually at a point in my life where I can say cheat meals are definitely no longer worth the squeeze for me.
