1. Learn to say no. Look, you could evaluate that exciting new opportunity eight ways from Sunday, but the bottom line is that everything has pros and cons. If you’re not 100% sure it’s right for you, you have to say no, or else you’ll get so overwhelmed that you won’t be able to grab the really good chances when they come along.
  2. Put others first. Live, Learn, and Pass On saves the best for last for a reason. Take it from me: you might derive some sense of satisfaction from your own accomplishments, true fulfillment is going to come from what you can do for others. Yes, that means making some sacrifices — but most worthwhile things require sacrifice.
  3. Embrace contentedness. Gratitude is an attitude, and if you’re grateful for all the good things in your own life, you’ll realize you don’t need much — if anything — else. And once you realize that, maybe you won’t want it so badly.
  4. Play to your strengths. We all have strengths, but some of us are better at discovering them than others. If you know your “best self,” you’ll realize that to truly set yourself apart, you need to embrace those parts of your character and do everything you can to use them to the utmost.
  5. Play it safe. This goes back to evaluation: you could argue for or against every risk-reward decision you ever have to make, but chances are, your life is pretty darn good. Is it worth putting your strengths, your contentedness — hell, your entire sense of self at risk for much? Of course not.

…Okay, hold up. What’s going on here? These “5 Ways” articles are supposed to be funny and sarcastic, but this shit sounds like it came out of one of those feel-good magazines you see on grocery store newsstands. Let’s try again.

The 5 Steps to Greatness

  1. Learn to say yes. Look, you could evaluate that exciting new opportunity eight ways from Sunday, but the bottom line is that everything has pros and cons. If you don’t take some chances and put yourself out there, the really good opportunities will pass you by.
  2. Put yourself first. Live, Learn, and Pass On put Live first for a reason. If you don’t put yourself first, you will get taken advantage of, and you’re worth more than that. Always put yourself first.
  3. Embrace the grind. It’s about the journey, not the destination. If you don’t enjoy the grind, don’t enjoy pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone and beyond your current capabilities, you will never live life to the fullest, and you’ll never realize your true potential.
  4. Turn your weaknesses into strengths. We all have strengths, but they can’t make up for our weaknesses — and we all have those, too. Long-term success requires accepting those weaknesses, and learning to make them work for you rather than against you. Failure to do that usually means failure to accomplish your goals.
  5. Take risks. This goes back to evaluation: you could argue for or against every risk-reward decision you ever have to make, but chances are, your life is pretty darn good. But if you’re truly passionate about something, you’ll be willing to sacrifice what you are for what you will become.

Now I’m really lost. Aren’t I basically arguing two sides of the same coin? Well, yes and no. Yes, because it’s obvious that I can spin these rules to prove two different points:

It’s important to practice gratitude for yourself, your world, and your abilities, and to accept those for what they are.

It’s important to push yourself to be become better than you are right now.

The moral of the story is this: those two goals often conflict. It doesn’t matter whether we’re talking about work, working out, or life in general — the drive for progress often seems counter to the desire for contentedness.

So what do you do? Not an easy question to answer, and I’m not a smart enough guy to explain it well. But there’s a old Cherokee legend about two wolves that goes like this:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.

Seems simple, right? But there’s an alternate ending to the Blu-Ray version that goes something like this:

...The old Cherokee simply replied, “If you feed them right, they both win.”

“You see, if I only choose to feed the white wolf, the black one will be hiding around every corner waiting for me to become distracted or weak and jump to get the attention he craves. He will always be angry and always fighting the white wolf. But if I acknowledge him, he is happy and the white wolf is happy and we all win. For the black wolf has many qualities – tenacity, courage, fearlessness, strong-willed and great strategic thinking – that I have need of at times and that the white wolf lacks. But the white wolf has compassion, caring, strength and the ability to recognize what is in the best interest of all.

"You see, son, the white wolf needs the black wolf at his side. To feed only one would starve the other and they will become uncontrollable. To feed and care for both means they will serve you well and do nothing that is not a part of something greater, something good, something of life. Feed them both and there will be no more internal struggle for your attention. And when there is no battle inside, you can listen to the voices of deeper knowing that will guide you in choosing what is right in every circumstance.

Yeah, it sounds a little — okay, a lot — like hippie bullshit. But I think the point is a good one. A good life requires balance, and the more you can see both sides of the picture, the easier it will be to find that balance. Hopefully, if you’re struggling with stress, making a big decision, or even finding your place in the world, recognizing that will make things a little bit easier.