*Disclaimer
This is for entertainment purposes only. Do not try this at home.
The IRS decides to audit me and summons me to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when I showed up with my attorney.
The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
I'm a great gambler and I can prove it," I said "How about a demonstration?
The auditor thought for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
I said, I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.
The auditor thought a moment and said, "It's a bet."
I removed my glass eye and bit it. The auditor's jaw drops.
I then said, Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.
Now the auditor can tell I'm not blind, so he takes the bet.
I removed my dentures and bit my good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand - with my attorney as a witness. He started to get nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" I asked , "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way I could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
I stood beside the desk and unzips my pants, although I strained mightily, I didn't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so I pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But my own attorney moaned and puts his head in his hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks
.
"Not really," says my attorney. "This morning, when he told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!"
I keep telling you! Don't Mess with Old People!!
Today's Training:
GHR: 5x10
Dead Lift:
Work up to a heavy but not a record THREE reps
Belt Squat:
Work up to a weight that can be handled for a HARD 10 reps.
Then do 5x5